In honor of the upcoming Independence Day Neighborhood Explosion Competition, let us ponder the restructuring of some of our favorite movies to emphasize Truth, Justice, and the American Way.
The Obesity Games - Katniss Everfull eats her way to victory.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of ICE - Harry and Ronald are detained at the border.
The Wizard of Odds - Biopic about the creation of Ripley's Believe It or Not.
Pride and Prejudice - Uhhhh yep.
Singin' on the Train - A musical set on a cross-country Amtrack experience.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Greed - Famed archeologist, Dr. Henry Jones, Jr., stumbles upon a secret cult of hedge fund managers.
Saving Ryan's Privates - I.T. security in the porn industry.
Willy Wonka and the Undocumented Chocolate Factory Workers - Just exactly what is the immigration status of all those Oompa-Loompas?
Forest Dump - A documentary about secret stashes of old washing machines, Corvairs, and mattresses.
It's a Wonderful Lie - Political intrigue...or...business as usual.
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