So THIS Is What A.I. Thinks of Me

 

They say curiosity killed the cat, so I really should have known better than to conduct this little experiment, but hey...I have never been accused of being significantly wiser than a cat.

For no reason in particular, I got to wondering what the major artificial intelligence entities "knew" about me. So I got to asking them.

I started with the algorithm that seems to have started the whole A.I. trend, ChatGPT:

It seems I have chatted with ChatGPT almost exclusively about my other blog, Truth Is..., and my personal blog (where book reviews have happened), DewDrops. That's fair enough, and this is a kind enough overview of what happens in those spaces.

Then I turned to the A.I. engine I use the most, CoPilot:

Very straightforward and factual. Little to no editorializing or sucking up. Well-played, CoPilot.

Finally, I went to X's A.I. entity, Grok:

Grok certainly did more research to provide its answer, but what a self-serving twit. "Your primary online presence is on X," my foot! With over 14-hundred friends on Facebook and fewer than 200 followers on X?

This isn't so much facts about me that Grok is reporting. It's more about what Grok thinks of itself and wants me to believe. (Oops. Did I just get political?)

People Was Peedpulled

 

According to Punny Pete, "The past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared."

Putting aside my strong opinion that the past tense of Will should be Did, not Would, this has set my mind to wandering...

...and wondering if you intelligent readers out there can understand who the following are passed tents renditions of...

1. Tom Hanked

2. Robbedin Didiwass

3. Wasy Granted

4. Did Rogered

5. Divorced-Keaten Olsen*

6. Didiwas Told

_______
* Yes, I kind of cheated on this one.

What Happens When AI Meets My Face? Buckle Up.

 

Experimentation with the image-generating properties of different artificial intelligence entities has been running rampant like an escaped velociraptor in a convenience store.

The most recent example is the flood of Facebook posts from people who asked ChatGPT to create a caricature of themselves.

And of course, I hopped on that bandwagon.

Let's begin with the results from AI-bots who dealt only with my verbal request for "a caricature of a bald man with a closely-trimmed salt-and-pepper beard wearing dark-rimmed glasses seated in front of a bookshelf typing a blog. Feature images of Jesus, grandkids, music of Rich Mullins, and Dr Pepper."

Canva certainly got the Dr Pepper and Jesus right, but that's not Rich Mullins and the whole thing looks too academic. Where's the fun aspect implied by asking for a caricature?

Freepik looks like they were peeking over Canva's shoulder but didn't want to bother with Dr Pepper, Rich Mullins, or grandkids. What a lazy pile of algorithms.

DeepAI really cranked up my age beyond what was necessary, if you ask me. And they seem to have done away with the English language.

I like what NoteGPT/NanoBanana did with my overall look and including the auxiliary images, but doesn't it look like I'm squatting over my chair instead of actually sitting in it? Also, it's a little creepy that the computer is talking along with me; not sure which of us is talking and which is echoing.

MOVING ON to the lucky entities which were given the following picture...

...and these instructions: Here's my portrait. Can you turn it into a caricature featuring some of my favorite things: lions, the music of Rich Mullins, Jesus, my grandkids, Dr. Pepper, blogging?

This mini-trend started with ChatGPT, and I must say I like the jolly feeling in the result, though it's obvious the AI-bot has no idea what Rich Mullins or my grandkids look like: comforting news in the case of my grandkids, but slightly disappointing when it comes to Rich Mullins. (Additional whine: That's a decent drawing of me, not a caricature.)

CoPilot is what I do most of my AI-ing with, and it certainly ticked the boxes here in a very literal fashion, except for turning the picture of Jesus over my left shoulder into a skull...eww.

I think Gemini takes first place. I even like that one of my grandkids now has the tail of a lion. Genetics be darned!

Almost The News XXXIV

 

Real Headlines. Fake News.

Ghislaine Maxwell Pleads the Fifth During Her Deposition
"I'm sorry, I just drank 750 milliliters of whiskey and cannot answer coherently."

China Critic Jimmy Lai Sentenced to 20 Years in Prison
That'll teach him to badmouth our best dinnerware.

Minneapolis Council Member Suggests Moving Millions to Help Businesses
"I mean, I know that much money would certainly help MY business!"

Trump Threatens to Block Opening of New U.S.-Canada Bridge
...and all it will take is for him to lie down like a beached whale

House Votes to Slap Back Trump's Tariffs on Canada

https://youtu.be/7jySjwzktns?si=ApDosOy6MshrCYHN

Drawing on My Imagination...Well, CoPilot's

 

To get caught up, you may want to go to the earlier post, "My Graphic Rabbit Hole," to get the origin story of these flights of fancy, wherein Microsoft's A.I. engine, CoPilot, reimagines a portrait of me as...

a friend of Calvin & Hobbes

a member of the Family Circus

an anime character

drawn by Charles Schulz

or, best for last (as always), part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe!

Welcome to My Graphic Rabbit Hole

 

With last week's mini-venture into A.I. image manipulation, I opened the door to something so fun it's dangerous. Or maybe so dangerous that it's fun, I don't know.

I gave CoPilot the following self-portrait...

...then asked it to make it look different in a number of ways. First, I wanted to look steampunk.

Then I asked to look as if Picasso painted me.

Then Van Gogh.

Salvador Dali

The good folks at Pixar

The only-slightly-different-looking Claymation

Then I thought, could CoPilot put me inside different entertainment franchises ... like The Simpsons?

Or Star Trek

Saving my personal favorite for last, look what happened when I asked to be put in a scene from Pirates of the Caribbean:

I was kind of hoping for something more like Jack Sparrow and less like Smee, but I look at this and can't help but think "Jolly Roger".

Stuph That Has No Reason Being in My Head, Vol. VII

 

The orange powder left on your hands after eating Cheetos is called "cheetle".

The two main male characters of The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon and Leonard, were named in honor of the actor who played Nick the Bartender in It's a Wonderful Life.

According to a producer I know, Miley Cyrus can't carry a tune...at all.

The stories that say Karen Carpenter was on a popcorn-only diet are unsubstantiated rumors.

James Taylor's first single, "Carolina in My Mind," was released on The Beatles' Apple Records.

♫♪ Dewey Dewey Bo-Bewey, Banana Fanna Fo-Fooey, Fee Fi Mo-Mooey...Dewey! ♪♫

Before he was Gilligan, Bob Denver co-starred as a beatnik on The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis.

On Sesame Street, Caroll Spinney was both Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch.

When extended, a frog's tongue is about a third as long as the frog  -  as if our own tongues reached our belly buttons!

Chihuahua's are the world's smallest breed of dog...even though they look like rats.

SNL, Disney, and My Cowbell Embarrassment

 

Apparently, I'm weird.

Well ... maybe unique is a better word.

Case in point:

Back in the days when Will Ferrel was a Saturday Night Live cast member, there was a particular sketch featuring Mr. Ferrel in a too-small-for-him shirt, playing cowbell as Blue Oyster Cult records their hit, "Don't Fear the Reaper." As the record producer, Christopher Walken repeatedly interrupts the recording to ask for ... and later, forcefully demand ... more cowbell.

It was pretty hilarious and even ended up being featured as a whole episode of the recent docuseries on SNL's 50 years of existence.

Okay ... now ...

Go back to the theatrical release of Disney's "live action" remake of The Jungle Book. I'm sitting in a packed movie theater. Mowgli is sitting in the orangutans' temple, which is strewn with found objects and treasures collected by the apes, about to meet their monarch, King Louie.

With the what-I-thought-was-common knowledge that Christopher Walken was the voice of King Louie, I saw Mowgli reach into the pile of stuph and pull out, with curiosity and confusion, a cowbell.

I laughed mightily.

I was the only one.

Apparently, I'm weird.

Rhyming Colors (Happy Birthday, Joel Grey!)

 

Tony-, Grammy-, and Oscar-winning actor and singer, Joel Grey, turns 93 today.

It gets me thinking about other famous people with colorful names...

Jack Black, who is white.
Barry White, black as night.
Betty White, who died on New Year's Eve.
Then there's Pink, the singer bold
Thank you for being a friend, Andrew Gold
We've lost James Brown, so let us grieve

Red Skelton, ancient comic clown
Red Buttons, never made us frown
Two Dees and Exes for Redd Foxx
Baseball player, Vida Blue
Al Green sang of loving you
And now I've rhymed myself into a box

The Colbert Questionnaire

 

There's a recurring bit on Stephen Colbert's version of The Late Show called "The Colbert Questionnaire." The host laments how the normal talk show interview is fairly shallow and seldom leads to a deep understanding of the celebrity being interviewed. He then says the show has scientifically compiled a list of questions that will cut through all the glitter and fakery of show-business-as-usual and, when answered with candor, will result in the person being "known."

At this point of my life, I've become fairly certain that my dream of celebrity status and having talk shows want me as a guest will never come to pass. But why should that deprive the world of hearing my responses and knowing my deepest heart of hearts? *

What is the best sandwich?
Wendy's Baconator, followed closely by Jimmy John's Italian Night Club

What is one thing you own that you should really throw out?
A star-spangled motorcycle leather jacket

What is the scariest animal?
Possum, or as the suave and debonair say, opossum. They are nothing more than huge rats whose go-to response upon seeing you is to bare their razor-sharp teeth and hiss.

Apples or oranges?
Apples, but only if they are covered with butter, sugar, and cinnamon and baked to within a millimeter of being applesauce.

Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?
Yes. During the summer I worked as a janitor at Foellinger Amphitheatre in Fort Wayne, Indiana, Mitzi Gaynor sang and danced on our stage and I got her autograph for the benefit of my then-fiance, the woman now known as Beloved.

What do you think happens when we die?
In 2 Corinthians 5:8, the Apostle Paul said that when we are absent from the body we are present with the Lord, but I'm not sure about the timing of all that. Am I "in heaven" the moment I die, or is there some kind of transitional housing where we all wait around until the end of time? 

Favorite action movie?
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: "My soul is prepared, Doctor Jones. How is yours?"

Window or aisle?
Aisle (for bathroom access). Also, Beloved prefers the window, so there's that.

Favorite smell?
Baby lotion

Least favorite smell?
Vomit

Earliest memory?
Walking up behind my dad as he was watching The Wizard of Oz. (For the full story, go to "In My Beginning."

Cats or dogs?
The unconditional love of dogs toward mankind is unearned and unequaled among earthly creatures. (See Wendy Francisco's "God and Dog")

You only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life. What is it?
Art Garfunkel, James Taylor, and Paul Simon singing "What a Wonderful World"

What is the most-used app on your phone?
I don't have any hard data on this, but I'm pretty sure it must be Facebook. Either that or Royal Match. (How sad is that?)

Describe the rest of your life in five words
Jesus, Family, Love, Laughter, Music

_______
* Full disclosure: There have been a few versions of this 15-question list over the years. I have distilled this list in such a way as to avoid my two least-favorite questions:
       1) What was your first concert? (I don't like this question because I have no idea how to answer it, other than to say it was probably a gospel quartet on a Sunday night at my childhood church.)
       2) What number am I thinking of? (How does that reveal anything about me? Besides, no matter what the celebrity's answer is, Colbert always says, "No.")

Snacks Nobody Is Looking For

 

I admit to becoming temporarily enamored with the ability of artificial intelligence applications to create images out of thin air by just responding to my warped imagination. THAT'S how the following graphics of foodstuffs-searching-for-someone-to-love-them came into existence.

For vegetarian cookie-lovers:

Making Brussel Sprouts palatable by covering them in chocolate:

Putting new meaning to the term "cat-lover":

The original concept for lutefisk:

My favorite: "Slow-cooked", HAHAHA!

More To Boldly Pun Where No One Has Ever Groaned Before

 

Having found out how practically effortless it is to steal Star Trek puns from across the World Wide Wackfest (but especially Riker's Beard), here's another collection of tidbits that will energize and transport you to TickleTown.