If I Had Been Cast Instead Of...Part Third

 

...Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

...Harrison Ford

...Benedict Cumberbatch

...Buzz Lightyear

...Elvis

What if Billy Joel and Willie Nelson Hooked Up?

In spite of the imagined son of Billy Joel and Willie Nelson looking like a poster child for state-required plastic surgery, I'm pretty sure that he would be involved in making some fine music.

• Always on My New York State of Mind
• Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Piano Men
• Forgiving You Was Easy in the Middle of the Night
• Blue Eyes Cryin' for the Longest Time
• Just the Way You Are Crazy
• To All the Uptown Girls I've Loved Before
• It's Still On the Road Again to Me

Thinking About John Cougar Mellencamp Makes Me Mad

 

According to Rolling Stone, "Pink Houses" is the 439th Greatest Song of All Time, and I don't know whether to brag about my personal connection to the song or explode in righteous fury.

Perhaps I should explain.

This song was inspired by an old man sitting on the porch of his pink shack and waving at John Cougar Mellencamp, who promptly waved back.

A simple beginning.

The recording of the song took place in a barn in Brownstown, Indiana just a few years before I moved there to serve as a youth minister. One day during my time there, Mellencamp attended the wedding of a family member of his at the church where I worked.

So much for the personal connection.

As for righteous fury...

A few years ago, Mellencamp performed at the Minnesota State Fair, and Beloved and I were in attendance. Also in attendance, and seated in the row behind us, was a slightly inebriated chap who apparently thought I paid several dollars per ticket to hear his running commentary on the quality of merchandise for sale at the fair and all the good times he used to have in high school.

I couldn't hear a word Mellencamp said from the stage, including when he sang "Pink Houses".

I have never before in my life been so motivated to hold a healing service in a public place by laying hands on a person.

Hard.

Fast.

Repeatedly.

Almost the News XXIV

 

Real headlines. Fake news.

City Council Member Running for Mayor
...because the mayor recently broke her leg

St. Paul Man Charged After Lakeville Shooting
Witnesses were amazed at the man's ability to take a bullet and just keep charging.

City Reopens Search for New Manager
Immediately after being hired, Benson city manager, Buck Trends, went missing. The search for him had to be suspended during the harsh winter weather but has now resumed, with expected highs in the 60s all week.

Planning for the Next 10 Years Kicks Off
...and the funeral is planned for next Wednesday.

First Wolf Pups of the Season Tagged
...and now they are It.