Phony P Words

Just a piddly pinch of Almost the Dictionary: The Almost the Truth™ Dictionary of What Words Ought to Actually Mean: A Lexicon for Parallel Thinkers.

Pace (n)  -  Someone really, really good at urinating

Pachouli (interjection)  -  The sound a hippie makes when sneezing

Pachyderm (v)  -  Preparing for a trip by putting extra skin in a suitcase

Palaces (pl n)  -  What a father ties his shoes on with

Panache (n)  -  Abdominal pain as a result of eating a large number of pancakes

PHD (acronym)  -  Pretty Hard to Decipher; doctoral degree related to handwriting

Procrastination (adj)  -  Being in favor of having one's country include Crast

Promulgate (n)  -  Scandal resulting from the illegal trafficking of mules-for-hire 

Propitious (n)  -  One who earns a living by being pitious

Pun (n)  -  In American football, a downfield kick that does not use a tee