[Originally published December 22, 2017]
It's...
That...
Time of year, when the world watches the same movies for the umpteenth time.
But what if some unscrupulous modifier tweaked the titles of some of those over-watched classics?
It's a Wonderful Lice - It's a lousy Christmas when Zuzu comes home from school with someone else's hat.
Frankie the Snowman - Ol' Blue Eyes is back, but some miffed mobsters want to put him on ice for good.
Rudolph the Reed-Nosed Reindeer - Olive, the other reindeer, laughs at poor Rudolph because he sounds like a clarinet when he breathes.
A Christmas Stork - The protagonist wants to buy a Red Ryder BB gun, but is called away to deliver a baby to an obscure village in the Middle East.
Homely Alone - An eight-year-old boy is left behind from his family's Christmas trip because he's just so darn ugly.
Alf - A furry, alien life form travels from the North Pole to New York City in search of its biological father and a nice CLT...cat, lettuce, and tomato sandwich; where the cat is nice and lean and the tomatoes are ripe.
The Old Gray Mare Before Christmas - This sleigh ride just ain't what she used to be.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vaccination - An unfortunate reaction to an ill-timed flu shot spoils a family's holiday celebration.
White Supremacist Christmas - Some jokes just write themselves.
The Molar Express - A Rankin/Bass production that creates a myth based on the popular song, "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth".
The Santa Claws - Kris Kringle refuses to submit to his annual mani/pedi.
Pie Hard - NYPD Detective John McClane tries to reconcile with his estranged wife by bringing dessert to her employer's Christmas party, but the dessert is stale.
How the Grinch Smelled on Christmas - A special 4-D immersive experience. Not for the faint of nose.
Mildly Amusing Incident on 34th Street - A temporary Macy's employee claims to be Howie Mandel.
A Charlie Beige Christmas - The Peanuts gang goes to Phoenix for the holidays.
For the video version of this post, CLICK HERE.
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