Please, oh please, oh pretty pretty please!
Campaign Promises to Lower Prices Are Fulfilled
Hollywood Produces 10 Films People Actually Want to See
Minnesotans Give Up Their Juvenile Insistence on Calling "Duck, Duck, Goose" "Duck, Duck, Gray Duck"
Airlines Replace Tasteless So-Called Cookies with CornNuts
Ice Cream, Like Water, Declared Essential for Life and Free at All Restaurants
Art Garfunkel, James Taylor, and Paul Simon Release Cover of Satchmo's "What a Wonderful World"
Campaigning for Mid-term Elections Restricted to Publishing of Position Papers
Waste-of-ink comic strip, Fred Basset, finally shuts down. #FredBassetMustDie
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