Here We Go Round and Round: The 382nd Greatest Song

 

SO MANY unanswered questions about "Bitter Sweet Symphony" by The Verve.

What made them think they could make a six-second loop of an orchestral arrangement of a Rolling Stones song ("The Last Time"), create a four-minute song from it, and not give Jagger and Richards writing credit (which they were eventually forced to do)?

Why use a Stones song that had its own origin controversy? ("The Last Time" is very similar to a 1955 song by The Staple Singers called "This May Be The Last Time," but The Stones claimed it as their own.  -SongFacts.com)

Why does the video for the song consist of the lead singer walking against the flow of pedestrians on a busy sidewalk, bumping into people?

Why would the listening public of 1997 turn a song with a lyric like "You're a slave to money, then you die" into a Number 12 hit?

And last but not least, why would Rolling Stone magazine call it the 382nd Greatest Song of All Time?

What Was So Special About August 31, 2023?

 

It's not always the best thing for my self-esteem for me to look at the readership statistics for Almost the Truth.

We're a happy little family here, you and I. But most of the time, the operative word in that sentence is little. Over the course of almost 18 years and 929 posts, this blog has averaged 304 views per post. But that represents a high of 771 ("Pictures Inappropriate for History Books!" 9/15/2017) and a low of 55 ("#PutAnAnimalInASeventiesSongTitle Two" 5/24.2024).

In terms of how many page views happen on any given day, the number bounces around between 200 and 500, with a few valleys and peaks on either side of that range.

But then, August 31, 2023 happened.

On that fateful day, there were 41,272 page views here at Almost the Truth.

What the farnsworth??!?

What happened on that day that drove so many people to find solace in the chuckles found in this space?

I consulted onthisday.com and found the following headlines for August 31, 2023:

• At least 76 people died in a fire in an office building housing migrants and vulnerable people in Johannesburg, South Africa. [This might have caused an uptick in readers looking for escape, but 41,000?]
• A new computer model study suggested humanity was almost wiped out 900,000 years ago with just 1,280 reproducing individuals remaining [I believe the number you're looking for is 8: Noah, his 3 sons, and their 4 wives.]
• Two leaders of right-wing group the Proud Boys received lengthy sentences for sedition for their assault on the US Capitol [We all know THAT didn't last long.]

Unconvinced any of these occurrences could have caused such a spike in readership, I looked through the years to see if there was a significant event's anniversary that sent people to the comfort of my comedy.

• 1888: The body of Jack the Ripper's first victim, Mary Ann Nichols, is found in Whitechapel in London's East End [Nah. That's way too long ago for people to care about.]
• 1895: First professional football game: QB John Brallier is paid $10 and his team wins 12-0 [And team owners have been buying wins ever since.]
• 1897: Thomas Edison patents the Kinetoscope, a device that produces moving pictures [Worth celebrating, but I think it would result in people going to the movies, not reading this blog.]
• 1946: Foghorn Leghorn, a Warner Bros. cartoon character, debuts in "Walky Talky Hawky" [Exactly what Edison had in mind, no doubt.]
• 1987: Michael Jackson's "Bad" video, directed by Martin Scorcese, premieres during TV special "Michael Jackson: The Magic Returns" on CBS [Hmmm...we may be getting warm here.]
• 2009: The Walt Disney Company announces it will acquire Marvel Entertainment for $4.24 billion

Back the truck up, stop the presses, and hoooooold on there! We have found the answer!

If I Were Jim Gaffigan #TrueStory

 

My thanks to Copilot for the following response to my apparently inspiring prompt.

So I decided to write a blog post. But then I thought, “Why write a blog post when I can get AI to write it for me?” That’s right—I outsourced my creativity to a robot. I used to feel guilty about that, but then I remembered I once ate a whole cheesecake while watching a documentary on healthy living. Guilt and I are not close friends.

Using AI to write a blog post is like hiring a personal trainer who does the push-ups for you. You just sit there, sipping coffee, while the AI flexes its algorithmic muscles. I told it, “Make it sound like me—funny, clean, slightly confused by technology.” And it said, “Processing request.” Which is robot for “I got this, human. Go eat another slice of cheesecake.”

The weird part is, the AI is really good. It even added a joke about my laziness before I could. I was like, “Hey! That’s my brand!” But then I realized, if the AI starts doing stand-up, I’m out of a job. I’ll be replaced by a toaster with a tight five on gluten-free bread. “What’s the deal with sourdough starters? They’re like needy pets you can’t cuddle!”

In the end, I still had to read the blog post, tweak a few things, and pretend I did all the work. So technically, I collaborated with AI. It’s like co-writing with someone who never sleeps, never eats, and doesn’t judge you for wearing pajama pants at 3 p.m. Honestly, it’s the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to ask the AI to write a thank-you note to my fridge. It’s been through a lot.