Words I'd love to see atop a column of text in the coming year:
- Television Networks Decide to Stop Pushing the Envelope and Start Filling it With Something Entertaining Instead
- Palestinians and Jews Double-Check Their Ancestry, Realize They're From the Same Family, and Have a Cookout
- Free Popcorn With Every Movie Ticket
- Political Advertisements Appear Only on Pay-Per-View
- The Producers of Fred Basset Write a Public Apology and Cease Their Assault on Humor
- Local Blogger Is Visited by the Publishers Clearing House Prize Patrol
- "Just Kidding, Folks!" - Donald Trump Admits His Presidential Campaign Is Just a Gag
- "Just Kidding, Folks!" - Hillary Clinton Admits Her Presidential Campaign Is Just a Gag
- Mysterious Virus Wipes Out Superfluous Commas and Apostrophes. Grammar Police Celebrate With Group Hugs While Chanting "They're Their There."
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