If I had my druthers, we'd all be seeing headlines like these in the coming months.
All Viruses Vacate the Vicinity
27 Years Later, Bill Watterson Reboots Calvin & Hobbes
Twitter Fades Into Nothingness
Minnesota Finally Stops Taxing Social Security Income
Fred Basset Succumbs to the Will of the People and Ceases Publication
M*A*S*H Reunion Sees Hawkeye Delivering the Baby of the World's Oldest Mother...Hotlips
Self-Shoveling Driveways Now Economically Feasible
Political Ads Banned Until September 2024
Digesting Dr Pepper Burns More Calories Than It Contains
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