Coming in at Number 455 on Rolling Stone's list of the "500 Greatest Songs of All Time" is a little ditty that needs to seriously rethink its relationships.
Rolling Stone calls it a "haunting meditation on remorse." I call it a repetitive set of couplets that will say anything in order to create a rhyme.
It starts out with a little bit of promise: "What else could I be? All apologies."
Okay. Apparently, Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love were having issues and he has decided to write a song to express his regret for his part in the conflict. Fine intention, though "what else could I be" doesn't really sound all that apologetic, does it? It seems kind of like "I am what I am! Sorry!"
And then it immediately goes south with the second line: "What else could I say? Everyone is gay."
Seriously, Kurt? Everyone? Gay?
I think what actually happened is that Kurt was sitting around strumming his guitar and he would say the first part of a line and Will Ferrell would spit out the first rhyme that came to mind.
Kurt: What else could I say?
Will: Uh...umm...Everyoneisgay!
Kurt: What else could I write?
Will: I don't have the right.
Kurt: You're kidding. That doesn't rhyme. It's the same BLEEPing word.
Will: They only sound the same. They're spelled differently. They're homophones.
Kurt: You got something against the LGBTQ community?
Will: Just go on.
Kurt: I'll take all the blame.
Will: Aqua seafoam shame.
Kurt: That's ridiculous! Get serious, Will!
Will: Fine.
Kurt: Sunburn. Freezer burn.
Will: Choking on the ashes of her enemy.
Kurt: That doesn't even rhyme!
Will: True, but it's very serious.
* * * * * * *
I've never been a Nirvana fan. And I make no apologies about that.
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