All the Clouds Are Tired of Dancin': The 387th Greatest Song

 

So far, this series of posts on Rolling Stone's list of the 500 greatest songs of all time has included many a rewritten lyric, plenty of parodies, and several outright lies.

For Elton John's Tiny Dancer, the WorldWideWackfest has beaten me to it, most notably, with the replacement of "Hold me closer, tiny dancer" with "Hold me closer, Tony Danza."

But what about:

• Hold my clothes, Sir Tony Danza.
• Old mean Joseph, mighty Panzer
• Told my story. Might have pantsed her.
• Old meat closed her briny answer

But none of these can match trying to make sense out of the actual lyric:

Hold me closer, tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
You had a busy day today

Also known as:

Hang on tight, baby, and try to watch the road for me because I'm going to lie down and take a nap...even though YOU'RE the one who's actually been doing anything at all today.

Ah, Bernie Taupin, you're a master.