Friday, October 15, 2021

What if ABBA Were Vikings?

 


Poor Bjorn. A Viking's life of transatlantic pillaging just wasn't fulfilling. He needed a creative outlet. So, he turned his back on the ocean, grabbed a few friends, and formed the group, ABBA: After-Boat Bjorn Associates.

They did amazingly well in the cutthroat music business...perhaps because they were already familiar with cutting throats. Just look at the string of Top-40 hits they produced:

Rowing Me and Rowing You  -  We'll go in circles with one, not two

S.O.S  -  The raft you gave me, nothing else can save me, S.O.S.

Take a Cruise  -  If you loot this town, I will be around. Lena, I'm still free. Take a cruise with me.

Bjarney  -  The wind was filling up our sails that night, the stars were bright, Bjarney. You were using them to plot our course, because we're Norse, Bjarney.

Waterlogged  -  Waterlogged! Couldn't float now even in a bog. Waterlogged! Knowing my fate is to sleep with frogs.

Mamma Mia  -  Mamma mia, you Italians! My my, how I love to pillage!

Viking Queen  -  Use an axe! Use a knife! No problem taking a life. Ooh, see that girl; she's so mean, diggin' the Viking queen!


To see/hear the author reading/singing this post, click here.


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