A jumble of gems from Almost the Dictionary: The Almost the Truth™ Dictionary of What Words Ought to Actually Mean: A Lexicon for Parallel Thinkers.
JAB (acronym) - Jeering At Bears
Jackal (v) - How to raise Alabama high enough to change its tires
Jacket (n) - A small jack (perhaps to be used on Rhode Island)
Jackhammer (n) - J. C. Hammer's given name
Jackknife (v) - Creative parking by semi-truck drivers
Jackpot (v) - To steal someone's toilet or marijuana
JADE (acronym) - Just Another Dirt Enhancement
Jagger (n) - From the German for large-lipped but ugly as sin
Jail (n) - Primary example of a word that sounds the same whether pronounced or spelled
Jailhouse (n) - Where the jail lives
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