How this post came to be:
1. Beloved and I have been streaming episodes of House M.D. and This Is Us through the NBC app on our Roku television.
2. Because of 1, we have been exposed to television ads, unlike when we indulge ourselves with ancient episodes of N.C.I.S. on Netflix.
3. Many of the ads we've been seeing because of 2 involve an attempt to get us to ask our prescription provider about how a particular drug might be the answer to all of our problems (except, of course, for the list of possible side effects, which often includes death).
4. I keep losing track of what's going on in the television show we're watching because I get caught up in the puzzle of how the farnsworth they come up with the brand names for some of those drugs being advertised.
And so, here's an attempt to make things right. What follows is a list of Brand Name > Generic Name > What It SHOULD Be Called for several symptom-stoppers.
- Carbatrol > carbamazepine > Tree Astounder
- Bystolic > nebivolol > Nebivo HaHaHa
- Biltricide (wait...isn't this a felony?) > praziquantel > Worms-B-Gone
- Alprolix Powder > coagulation factor ix > Clotto
- Allegra > fexofenadine > Dr. F. F. Nadine's Magic Elixer
- Adynovate > antihemophilic factor (recombinant) > NoBleedum
- Adagen > pegademase bovine > Flying Cow
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