Friday, January 31, 2020

Open Mic Night in Gaza


The leader of my adult Bible study class generally is hoping to provoke thought, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't planning for me to be totally distracted with a single phrase from the story of Samson in Judges 14-16.

Most people are at least familiar with the story of Samson and Delilah and how she nagged her way into discovering why Samson was so stinkin' strong...which led to Samson being shaved, blinded, and put to work (grinding grain like an ox) by the oppressing enemies of Israel, the Philistines. 

The one phrase in the story that sidetracked my thoughts and kept me from hearing anything else the rest of the morning is found in Judges 16:25...


"While they were in high spirits, they shouted, 'Bring out Samson to entertain us.' So they called Samson out of the prison, and he performed for them."

So...

What kind of act did Samson have?



"Hey! Thanks so much for inviting me here to your pagan worship. I understand you've really spruced up the place for the occasion. I can't really see any improvement, myself, but I'm okay with it.

"But seriously, there are some advantages to having your eyes gouged out. I mean, if the guy I share my cell with looks only half as bad as he smells, I'm okay with it.

"I'd like to sing a little ditty for you all. Billy Joel fans may recognize the tune...


"She's got looks that could kill
She's got words that entice
She wants to know secrets
She asks more than twice
Don't tell her the truth
Or you'll never be free
Yeah, she nags like a mule
But she's always Delilah to me

"Oh...she just yearns to know why
You can kill any beast
You are such a strong guy
Oh...yeah her body just rocks
But don't fall asleep
She'll be shaving your locks

"And she'll promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
She'll let you play games
With those slave girls from Sweden
But she makes sure her face
Is the last that you'll see
She's sly as a fox
But she's always Delilah to me

"I don't know if Delilah is in the audience, but I want her to know that I'm not carrying a grudge about her shaving my head when I was asleep. It totally negated my audition for the touring company of Hair, but I've got this great gig grinding grain, so I'm okay with it.

"Grain grinding is the perfect job for me, too. Just chain me to the turnstile and watch me go. I'm like the Energizer water buffalo!  Stepping in the surprise packages left behind by the ox in front of me is a different experience, for sure, but it's a good aerobic workout, you know? I'm okay with it!

"That's all I've got! You've been a great audience! Now, if someone could direct me to the pillars that support this whole building, I need to rest against them...really, really rest."


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