Friday, October 4, 2019

Observed Absurdities™ 47 - A Lotta Bad Stuph Not Included


A recent trip through the aisles of my local large grocery enterprise left me wondering about the quality of foodstuffs being stuffed into my piehole.

I was la-la-la-ing past the frozen foods when I looked up to see a sign that was trying its best to assure me of the high quality of the food Wild Harvest was offering for purchase:



My first thought: Has it come to this? Just like in politics, where it's not sufficient to expound on your own positive traits, but you've also got to make sure everyone understands your opponent's faults and failings  -  so it is (apparently) with groceries. Not satisfied to tell me all the good stuph included in the bags of frozen vegetables, now the Wild Harvest folks feel compelled to let me know what bad things are NOT included.

My second thought: This list of 140 bad things being referenced...is that an exhaustive list? I mean, are there only 140 "undesirable ingredients" in existence?

If so, I want to see this list. I know there are some very particular things that I particularly want to know there are no particles of in my food:


Snake Venom
Horse Sweat
Cow Cud
Cat Barf
Couch Cushion Detritus
Bloody Gauze
Asparagus

No comments: