How to Tell Someone's Not Minnesotan

All this week, and continuing through Sunday afternoon, Beloved and I have been/are performing in the 20th Anniversary production of the Dakota Chautauqua.

It started as a commemoration of Dakota County's 150th birthday, during the Dakota County Fair of 1999, and has featured original songs and mostly-humorous scenes based on Minnesota history.

In recent years, it expanded to celebrate Minnesota's quirks and contributions to culture...

...which is what led me to write the song, "You're Not From Around Here."

I'm thinkin' that you're not from around here

I can tell by the funny way you talk

Your kids play Duck, Duck Goose instead of Grey Duck

You don't say "wanna come with" when you go for a walk

Your opinions are stated bold and clearly

You never say "what a fella might want to do"

Your compliments are not one bit back handed

Your aggression's never passive, that's the truth

You say what you mean and mean what you say

I could go on like this all day

I'm sorry, this might sound harsh, I fear

I'm not one for playing dumb

But you stick out like a sore thumb

I'm pretty sure you didn't grow up here

I'm thinkin' that you're not from around here.

I can tell by the way you flaunt your style

That parka that you wear in mid-October

Makes all the Scandehoovians point and smile

And when in the mail an ad comes from Cabela's

You rush to put that thing right in the trash

You must be allergic to all things flannel

If not, then please explain that nasty rash

In January, you stay inside

You're scared that you might freeze your hide

And May's your favorite season of the year

First you're cold and then you're hot

Gee, you sure complain a lot

I'm pretty sure you didn't grow up here.

Yeah, and if I'm not mistaken

With all your belly-achin'

I'm sure as shootin' you're not from 'round here

©2017 Music GGGGus