Tweet-ready Bursts of Alliterative Genius

Alright, anybody antsy for another anecdote?

But, Baby, buying bargain bottles is abundantly better.

Crushed candy canes can create Christmas cheer.

Don't delve deeply in demonic deposits of dog doo-doo.

Everybody eating their Easter eggs enthusiastically? Excellent!

Forget finding feathers. Flaunt Ferd's fantastic farm fashions!

Got grapes? Good! Gulp a gallon!

Harry Houdini had herculean hair. He hated haberdashers.

I'm initially ignorant of important information.

Jermaine Jackson just jumped and jived joyously.

Kevin Klein's kitchen is covered in ketchup.

Let lounging lions lie lazily, licking long licorice lariats.

Melissa Manchester, Mickey Mouse, Marilyn Monroe, and Mickey Mantle must emulate more modern music and movie moguls to maintain mountains of money.

Nearly nobody needs ninety-nine Nigerian newts. 

Only ocelots ogle orphaned ostriches.

Plenty of pretty parrots practice polite panhandling.

The quick koala queen is keeping her quest quiet. Queer!

The religious right rarely regales rascals.

Should Steven Spielberg say so long so soon?

Twelve tiny tarantulas trembled terribly today.

Unusual Uber drivers undulate under umbrellas unless they're ulcerated.

Voracious vampires vacillate between a variety of various vacations.

One wonders, when one wins, why would one whine, wail, or whimper?

An excess of exes may require extensive access to axes.

Your yellow yak yearns for yesterday's yarmulke.

Zany zookeepers are zealous for zebras.

The Other 5 of My Top 10 Albums

In spite of not being challenged to rise up to the 10 Albums Challenge, I've challenged myself. This is the second half of that...so here they are...five albums, in no particular order, that have impacted me.

BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER

SIMON AND GARFUNKEL

This album contains the highest concentration of awesomeness S&G ever produced. I love singing along with every song; from the quiet introspection of "Only Living Boy in New York" to the put-the-top-down, crank-it-up fun of "Baby Driver".

WELCOME TO PARADISE

RANDY STONEHILL

This is one of the first "Jesus Music" albums I ever purchased. I've got his signature on my copy and his phone number in my contact list. Doesn't make me better than you, but it makes me feel that way. Personal History:  EngineerBob and I once convinced an audience that we were making up "Lung Cancer" on the spot...and the crowd went wild.

NEVER PICTURE PERFECT

RICH MULLINS

I suppose most Mullins fans would name a liturgy, a legacy, and a ragamuffin band as the album they would put on a list like this, and I almost did, but this one wins out for me because of "Bound to Come Some Trouble" and a song that amazes me because it is very personal for Rich, but also tells the story of my own family, "First Family".

DON McLEAN

DON McLEAN

Say what you want about "American Pie" and "Vincent" (neither of which are on this album), this project has the strongest line-up of any of McLean's albums. And when you find someone else who loves "Bronco Bill's Lament", or can sing along with you when you break into "On the Amazon", you've found a friend for life. Personal Gripe: The compilation CD, Legendary Songs of Don McLean, has a bunch of covers McLean recorded and misses out featuring songs from this album actually written by this musical poet.

TEASER AND THE FIRECAT

CAT STEVENS

I probably bought this album because of "Morning Has Broken" and "Peace Train", but I practically wore out the grooves on it. There isn't a "filler song" in the bunch. Explanation for the Young Ones in the Crowd: Vinyl records actually have grooves in them (Of course, now that I think about it, each record only has ONE groove per side.) that, when a special needle is placed in them and the record spins around, jiggle the needle  -  creating electrical impulses that recreate the sounds of musical instruments and the human voice that were played and sung into microphones in a recording studio thousands of miles and tens of years away. In other words, it's magic.

And yes, I realize that ever since the advent of the scritch-scratching DJ, vinyl records have been making a comeback and the Young Ones probably don't need the above explanation. Harumph. Be quiet and get off my lawn!

10 Albums...Well...5

It wasn't as popular as the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, but it was a whole lot less likely to cause a heart attack.

I'm talking about the "10 Albums" phenomenon that swept  -  make that quietly seeped  - through FacePlace and other antisocial media platforms a couple months ago. It went like this: "10 albums in no particular order. Albums that have made an impact and are still on your rotation list. Post the cover, no need to explain, and nominate a person each day."

I've grown tired of waiting for someone to nominate me (and also a little depressed that no one has), so herewith is the first half of my ten.

And while there may be no NEED to explain, this isn't an artsy-fartsy photoblog, you know...

SONGS O' SAD LAUGHTER

ERIC PELTONIEMI

I've included this one first because I wanted to make sure it didn't get crowded out by anything else. Eric is the Musical Director of, and a performer in, the Dakota Chautauqua and I am blessed to call him a friend.  I am also blessed that he gave me this album of his several years ago. Don't Miss: "Chickens"; "La Bella Luna"

JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR

TIM RICE & ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER

One of my four free albums from when I joined the Record Club of America in the early 1970s, I would sing this in my head to help me get through a boring shift at McDonald's. Personal Favorite: "Gethsemane" 

GODSPELL

ORIGINAL CAST

Closely associated with JCS because of content and release dates, these songs stick a lot closer to Scripture and my heart. A 1978 production of this musical in Fort Wayne, Indiana, is where Beloved and I met. Fun Fact: My solo was "We Beseech Thee," which got cut from the movie version. #NotFair

SGT PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND

THE BEATLES

It's practically a cliche to include this album on a list like this, but cliches are cliches because they are so often so true. Pet Peeve: After decades of telling everyone that "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" referred to a drawing by Julian Lennon, Paul McCartney, in the documentary epic Anthology, just off-handedly and with no sense of it being Breaking News says "of course that was about LSD."

SMELL THE COLOR 9

CHRIS RICE

There's a boatload of great songs on this album, and that's certainly swell, but seriously...just the cleverness of the title song is enough to make me ignore the strangeness of the cover. Chris Rice Gets Extra Points: He used to be a youth pastor. He's my kind-o-people.

-  -  But Wait! There's More!  -  -

Tune in next week for the other five of my top ten.

High Calorie Hits of the 1970s

Hey, guys and gals, here's all the best sounds for puttin' on the pounds!

Ribs Over Troubled Water  -  "I want my baby back, baby back, baby back..."

The Long and Winding Spaghetti  -  "...that leads to my mouth."

Bake It With You  -  Perfectly appropriate song for a band named Bread

One Baked Apple  -  "One baked apple don't spoil my appetite"

I Feel the Earth Move  -  "I feel the earth...move...whenever he steps; it's like a T-Rex doing...jumping jack reps"

American Pie  -  "A long, long time ago...I can still remember...how my mama made desserts"

Bennie and the Jet-Puffed Marshmallows  -  "She's got a fire outdoors...plans to make some s'mores"

Billy, Make Me a Hero (Sandwich)  -  "...with fries on the side"

Sister Golden Corral  -  The group America had a big hit with this song about a nun who ate exclusively at a buffet franchise.

50 Ways to Cleave Your Loaf  -  Paul Simon's fattest song since Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme

Torn Between Two Leftovers  -  Lasagna or Chili?

How Deep Is Your Pizza  -  The Bee Gees took advantage of the deep dish pizza craze

Candy Man  -  "Who can make you gain weight...by looking at you...give you diabetes and a cavity or two...the Candy Man...oh, the Candy Man can"