Wait'll You Hear What Indiana's State Drink Is

First of all, what's the big deal with there being a state drink? Or a state ANYTHING, for that matter?

Do states get kickbacks from companies when they say a product of theirs is the "State Product of That Type"? You know, like selling naming rights for a sports stadium or something? If they name The Mighty Oak as their state tree, does someone send the legislators cases of acorns?

Maybe if they declared state diseases...we could cure some of the nasty stuff going around. "It's time to wipe out toenail fungus; the state disease of Florida!"

I ran across a list of state drinks, some of which were no surprise at all. The state drink of Florida is orange juice. Makes total sense, because they grow oranges there. California's state drink is wine. Again, this seems right because California produces so many alcoholics.

Being a native of Indiana, I was interested to find out what distinctive beverage my home state had claimed as its own. What with Johnny Appleseed being buried in Fort Wayne, I was pulling for apple cider.

There we were, right after Illinois and before Iowa. My eyes followed the dotted line over to...the word...water.

Water.

I mean...How lame can one state BE?!?

"Okay, everybody, before we get to that budget thingy, we need to nail down the issue of our state drink. So what's it gonna be, folks? What form of liquid refreshment is there that encapsulates the true character of our people...the strong backbone of what Indiana stands for?"

"Uhhh...how about...I don't know...water? We got plenty of that."

"Yeah, sure...whatever. That's fine. Is it time for lunch yet?"

I was feeling pretty bad about it all until I saw that the state drink of Nebraska is Kool-Aid.