Friday, December 29, 2017

Hopeful for These Headlines in 2018


I am not a prophet, nor the son of a prophet. I barely even MAKE a profit, but I certainly do hope to see these headlines in a news source near you some time in the coming calendar year.


  • Paul & Ringo Tour with Sons of John & George as Beatles 2.0
  • Evangelicals No Longer Considered a Representation of Christianity
  • Fred Basset Stops Publishing and Apologizes for All the Wasted Ink
  • President Donald Trump Revealed as Long-Thought-Dead Performance Artist Andy Kaufman


  • Skyline Chili Opens Franchise in Southern Suburbs of Twin Cities
  • Almost the Truth About Youth Ministry: Salesmen, Secretaries, and Smart Alecks on Best Sellers List
  • Oscars Telecast Presents Opening Number, In Memoriam Feature, and Signs Off
  • People Stop Using "Would Of" When They Mean "Would Have/Would've"
  • State Lawmakers Miraculously Remember That Tax Dollars Don't Belong to Them and Return Surplus to Citizens
  • Hell Freezes Over


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