I am not a prophet, nor the son of a prophet. I barely even MAKE a profit, but I certainly do hope to see these headlines in a news source near you some time in the coming calendar year.
- Paul & Ringo Tour with Sons of John & George as Beatles 2.0
- Evangelicals No Longer Considered a Representation of Christianity
- Fred Basset Stops Publishing and Apologizes for All the Wasted Ink
- President Donald Trump Revealed as Long-Thought-Dead Performance Artist Andy Kaufman
- Skyline Chili Opens Franchise in Southern Suburbs of Twin Cities
- Almost the Truth About Youth Ministry: Salesmen, Secretaries, and Smart Alecks on Best Sellers List
- Oscars Telecast Presents Opening Number, In Memoriam Feature, and Signs Off
- People Stop Using "Would Of" When They Mean "Would Have/Would've"
- State Lawmakers Miraculously Remember That Tax Dollars Don't Belong to Them and Return Surplus to Citizens
- Hell Freezes Over
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