50 Ways XIII

46. Brew a better cup of coffee.
Ina Garten, author of the Barefoot Contessa cookbooks, says, "You can make better coffee at home than you can get at a coffee shop." I know my checking account certainly agrees with that. Of course, this is really out of my circle of influence anyway...I don't drink coffee. But I do enjoy the aroma. I used to go to Starbucks just to sniff around...until the restraining order.

Has Airwick come out with a coffee-scented room freshener yet?

47. Be daffy: Celebrate Tex Avery's birthday.
My high regard for Warner Brothers' Looney Tunes would have led me to actually do this...had I read about it before February 26, the 100th birthday of the guy who created Daffy Duck and gave Bugs Bunny his catchphrase: "What's up, doc?"

The really, really sad thing here is that I felt the need to explain what Bugs' catchphrase was. A few months ago, I mentioned how What's Opera, Doc? was one of my favorite cartoons and broke into a little "Kill the wabbit! Kill the WAAAbbit!" and the youngest fruit of my loins, KJ, hadn't a clue to what I was referring.

The judge let me off with a warning, because he admitted that the smack-down I gave KJ was warranted, if slightly over-zealous.

48. Get a coupon for a digital TV converter.
February 17, 2009, most broadcast TV stations will shut off their analog signals, because Big Brother--er--our always thoughtful government is exerting control, instead of allowing the marketplace to make such decisions, and has determined that the world would be safer for democracy if we all watch digital TV.

The good news seems to be that households with cable or satellite television are already good-to-go. Now if only Hollywood could provide something worth watching in all of its crystal-clear digital preciseness.

49. Pick up the next Harry Potter-style epic.
There's only one particular title that gets suggested in this section. Kind of makes one wonder if The 39 Clues is published by the same folks that produce U.S. News & World Report. And if we're going to play that kind of game, methinks what will really improve your life this year (I know it could improve mine) would be for you to go for something a little lighter in the backpack and more conducive to laughter. Something like...oh...I don't know...Almost the Truth About Youth Ministry. (Click here or in the link list to the left.)

50. Knit like a hipster.
I wonder who decides something is cool. I guess if enough college students decide to do something it becomes cool, because the Wall Street Journal had a front-page feature on "Sock Wars," where college students face off in elimination races to be the fastest sock-knitter.

But if "doing what a lot of college students do" leads the list of criteria for coolness, then that means waking up Sunday morning in a puddle of your own urlp-urlp, not knowing where you are or how you got there, would be cool. And I just don't buy that.

That's not how I roll. I ain't down widdat. 'Snot my thang, foo.