Friday, January 1, 2016

Headline Wish List - 2016

Words I'd love to see atop a column of text in the coming year:

  • Television Networks Decide to Stop Pushing the Envelope and Start Filling it With Something Entertaining Instead
  • Palestinians and Jews Double-Check Their Ancestry, Realize They're From the Same Family, and Have a Cookout
  • Free Popcorn With Every Movie Ticket
  • Political Advertisements Appear Only on Pay-Per-View
  • The Producers of Fred Basset Write a Public Apology and Cease Their Assault on Humor
  • Local Blogger Is Visited by the Publishers Clearing House Prize Patrol
  • "Just Kidding, Folks!" - Donald Trump Admits His Presidential Campaign Is Just a Gag
  • "Just Kidding, Folks!" - Hillary Clinton Admits Her Presidential Campaign Is Just a Gag
  • Mysterious Virus Wipes Out Superfluous Commas and Apostrophes. Grammar Police Celebrate With Group Hugs While Chanting "They're Their There."

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