Why Do I Even WATCH Television?

 

I freely admit to being a television junkie during my growing-up years. I told the time by what was on television. I estimated how long an activity would take using units of time called "sitcoms", e.g., "It should only take me two Hogan's Heroes to get that done."

But as I've matured, I find myself getting irritated by things I see on TV that don't make sense to me at all:

• Self-important people who think that yelling “Find my son…now!” has some kind of positive effect on the performance of the personnel of the Missing Persons Unit.
• Police officers who reject the idea of walking up to a suspect and instead, from 20 yards away, announce, “Jimmy Logan, we’re the police and we need to talk to you!” (Invariably creating the next item on my list.)
• Suspects who think they can get away from the police by running down a crowded sidewalk.
• Suspects who think they can outdraw a police officer who ALREADY has a gun aimed at them.
• Doctors who shout "Page Neuro!" to absolutely no one else standing there.
• Heart monitor alarms that burst into loud action in the middle of a routine operation because that's the only way the writers can pack any excitement whatsoever into four people standing around a bloody mannequin. 

Maybe I should read more books.