13 reasons to stay in bed all day. Number 7 will make your ears fall off!
1) Facebook is still letting all those idiotic people who don't agree with your politics post idiotic and non-factual articles from that website run by disagreeable, non-factual idiots.
2) Your smartphone has more bacteria on it than your toilet seat.
3) A black cat just walked under a ladder.
4) Disney may be attempting a reboot of the Indiana Jones film franchise.
5) There's a snake in the sewer lines under your house.
6) Pretty sure that green, fuzzy thing in your fridge has started throbbing.
7) Justin Bieber is releasing a new song today.
8) Valentine chocolate won't go on clearance until Sunday.
9) Your cable just went out.
10) Kim Kardashian.
11) Fred Basset is still being published.
12) There's a bad moon on the rise.
13) Your identity got stolen, but they lost interest and gave it back.