U R Not the Boss of Me!

A little bird told me that humans aren't as influential as they would like to think.

And the really surprising thing to me is that the sign isn't streaked with white "paint" to boot.

Almost the News XX

Man Found Fatally Shot On North Side
At least...it was his north side when they found him. He may have been facing the other way when he got shot.

Jay Cooke Bridge To Be Replaced By Fall
Why use a bridge when you can, instead, get to know the St. Louis River up close and personal? 

Emmer Says He'll Run For Congress
"They're too old and fat to run themselves...without a high risk for a heart attack."

Cleric Says Protests Against Morsi OK
Eygpt's top Muslim cleric declared, "The chants could have been more rhythmic, and the turnout was a little weak, but all-in-all, I'd give them 3 out of 4 stars."

Kurds Vow to Fight Rebels After Car Bomb
"As soon as we finish kicking this car bomb's patootie, we're going to open a can of Whole-Lotta-Hurt on those rebels."

Lost Civilization Scholars Re-Create 4,000-Year-Old-Brew
College professors of the Sumerian Tsuangzii tribe describe the ancient-styled beer: "Yes...it is just as flat and dusty as you would expect from a centuries-old bottle of Bud."

Famous-ish Last Words

Probably too much weight has been placed upon what a person's final words on Planet Earth are...were...have been, but that won't stop me from quoting a few that I've found to be particularly fitting...funny...ironic (with thanks to the site, Brain Candy, for most of these).

P. T. Barnum: How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?

John Barrymore: Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.

Lou Costello: That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted.

Bing Crosby: That was a great game of golf, fellers.

Humphrey Bogart: I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.

Jack Daniels: One last drink, please.

Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian: I am about to - or I am going to - die: either expression is correct.

Oscar Wilde: Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.

Pancho Villa: Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

General John Sedgwick, Union Commander, killed in battle during U.S. Civil War: They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

Utrechtse Vroedschap

In last week's post, as part of a listing of historic events that have happened on my birthday, the name Utrechtse Vroedschap was mentioned. At the time, I didn't know anything about the person, other than the fact that he "fled" on the second day of August, 1786.

With my curiosity piqued, I turned to the World Wide Wackfest to educate me on this fleet-footed individual.

The first shocking discovery was that The Seat of All Knowledge, Wikipedia, has no entry for Utrechtse Vroedschap.

The second discovery is that, except for the same one-line notice of the date of his "fleeing" on different history-list sites, all mention of good ol' Utrechtse are in Dutch.

So, with thanks to mechanical translator Babelfish, here's what I've learned:

1. Utrechtse Vroedschap isn't a person at all, but is the council of a city named Utrechtse.

2. From the website for the University of Utrecht: The name or the Utrecht University had in Amersfoort. In the seventeenth century wanted to both Utrecht and Amersfoort a University. The provincial government supported Amersfoort, Utrecht afleyding because "too many youth would provide to the line supervisor won't." In 1634 the Utrecht City Council decided therefore itself a Illustre School for higher education. This illustrious School of Utrecht had three faculties – theology, law, and philosophy – and four professors.

3. Yeah, I know...still nothing about any August 2, 1786 fleeing.

4. According to http://www.sporenvanslavernijutrecht.nl, Quint Ondaatje was one of the founders and leaders of the Civil Pro Patria et Libertate which amply offset the increasing power of the Utrecht city council, the town council. In 1785, came the patriots, supported by the Utrecht inhabitants rebelled against the corruption of the Utrecht city fathers. The regents admitted.

However, once the danger had passed, the Utrecht directors blah, blah, blah....

In 1786, it came to a new uprising. After several months the militia sent the town council home, and was a Patriot board to power.

So, it wasn't so much fleeing as it was being chased out of town. And I am still left with the burning question...

Why has this local skirmish in the 18th century made it onto lists of Important Events on This Date??!?!?

The world may never know...and probably doesn't care.

If I Was Jesus, Today Would Be Christmas

During my growing-up years, I was always slightly bummed by the lack of any universally-celebrated holidays in August. It seemed like my birthday was the only event in the month, and THAT certainly wasn't anything for most people to commemorate. But with a little research at History Orb, I have found that even just my date of birth has plenty of memorable events to brag about. Look at what all has happened on August 2nd...

1542 - French troops leave Flanders
1610 - Henry Hudson enters Hudson Bay...only...it wasn't called that at the time...yeah...you understand
1776 - Formal signing of the U.S. Declaration of Independence by 56 people
1786 - Utrechtse Vroedschap flees (I don't have any idea what that's all about. I just like the thought of all you readers trying to pronounce Utrechtse Vroedschap in your heads.)
1819 - First parachute jump in U.S.
1865 - Lewis Carroll publishes Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
1875 - First roller skating rink opens in London
1876 - Wild Bill Hickok shot dead (from behind) while playing poker (He held a pair of aces and a pair of eights)
1909 - First Lincoln head pennies minted
1922 - Alexander Graham Bell dies
1924 - Actor Carroll O'Connor born (All in the Family, Heat of the Night)
1943 - Lt. John F. Kennedy's PT-boat 109 sinks at Solomon Islands
1954 - Darlene Gay Double (nee Roth) was born two minutes too late to be exactly three years older than this blog's author
1957 - "World, meet Dewey. Dewey, meet world."
1961 - Beatles' first gig as the house band of Liverpool's Cavern Club
1991 - Mike Jeffcoat is first American League pitcher to get an RBI since 1972

Observed Absurdities™ 11 - Do You Have a Storage Trouble?

Queen CanDo has been hard(ly) at work again, and submits the following piece of literary excellence she found when she clicked to the website of a Minnesota garage builder.

Prefab Sheds Minnesota Programs For Sheds – Ahead of I Establish My Drop What Do I Will need to Know? Do you have a storage trouble, is your garage comprehensive of items that cease you parking the car in it? Do you want someplace else to retailer your garden mower, backyard resources, firewood and all method of other objects? Prefab Sheds Minnesota. Build an Outdoor Theatre Applying a Prefab Garage Package This is a story of good previous Yankee Ingenuity that happened throughout a football activity with a couple of buddies very last slide. We have been all grumbling about remaining trapped inside the living area watching the match on a Significant Def large screen Tv when what we definitely preferred was to be out in the factors with our crew. What You Require To Know About Sheds Typically, sheds are simply just designed structures with a single story and are applied in gardens, back yards, or workshops for the reason of storing items similar to outdoor get the job done. They can fluctuate by dimensions and the kinds of products employed to establish it. There are some that are comparatively modest and have a roof designed of tin, and many others that arrive in greater sizes and have wood frames, stylish windows, entry to ability stores, shingle on the roof, the total is effective… Prefab Sheds Minnesota.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Upon close investigation, it appears this was written in a language other than English and mechanically translated, but it doesn't really deserve close investigation, so get out there in the factors with your crew, fluctuate by dimensions, and use your good previous Yankee Ingenuity to make the total effective!

Dead Men DO Tell Tales

I stumbled across a book at the library the other day.

No...seriously...I was walking along looking at the shelves, and someone had left this book on the floor, and I tripped over it.

As I was picking myself up off the floor, I also picked up the offending tome, and took a look at what had so brazenly broken my browsing concentration. 'Twas a book by Robert J. Randisi, Hey There (You with the Gun in Your Hand). The cover looked like something slightly trashy from the late Fifties/early Sixties and noted that the book was "A Rat Pack Mystery", which explained why the cover featured a drawing of Joey Bishop, Frank Sinatra, and Dean Martin playing poker...with Sammy Davis, Jr. holding a gun and looking all dangerous and sly.

The thing is, when I opened the book, I found that it was published in 2008 and was, in factual fact, the third book in The Rat Pack Mystery Series. The first two books are Luck Be a Lady, Don't Die and Everybody Kills Somebody Sometime. It was then I saw this disclaimer: "This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously."

It's the phrase used fictitiously that lets Mr. Randisi get away with having Sammy Davis, Jr. trying to pay off blackmailers and owning the gun that kills a couple goons, along with involving the family of JFK in similar seedy situations.

That phrase also prodded me to wondering what kind of book series could I create using a group of entertainers I'm a bit more familiar with...say...The Beatles?

• I Wanna Scald Your Hand
• She Kills You (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)
• Eight Murders a Week
• She's Got a Hearse to Ride
• Revolver
• Baby, Don't You Steal My Car
• You Are the Eggman, I Am the Hitman
• Arsenic Fields Forever
• While My Guitar Grimly Reaps