Change One Letter and Create a Movie

 

Here I am, offering help to the screenwriters and producers of the world who seem to be positively desperate for ideas.

Hack to the Future  -  "Wait a minute, Doc. Ah... Are you telling me that you built a time machine... out of a taxi?"

The Green Bile  -  A supernatural tale of everyone on death row getting sick

The Lizard of Oz  -  "Oh my, Toto! Tails regrow so quickly here!"

A Can Called Otto  -  You've heard of the John. You're familiar with the Biffy. You've experienced the Powder Room. Now meet Otto.

The Darn Knight  -  "These socks need to be mended and you're not going to stop me."

Star Bars Episode IV: A New Hope - Maybe Charlie Sheen won't get bounced out this time.

Schindler's Lisp  -  "Thith pin. Two people. Thith ith gold. Two more people."

It's a Wonderful Wife  -  Actually...this doesn't change the movie at all.

Tight Club  -  "The first rule of Tight Club is...nobody fits in Tight Club."

Saving Primate Ryan  -  The adventures of a small squad of zoo keepers looking for a lost chimpanzee.

Jews  -  "You're gonna need a bigger yarmulke."

Done With the Wind  -  Set in the waning days of the Civil War, an entitled Southern belle could simply not care less about an approaching tornado.

Observed Absurdities™ 63 - Unimpressed Toothbrush

 

Apparently, my electric toothbrush is feeling kind of "meh" about my oral hygiene.

Waa! Waa! Waa!: The 418th Greatest Song

 

On Rolling Stone magazine's list of "The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time," the editors usually have a little something to say about each song: What makes it so great; who wrote it and why, etc. With "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes" by Crosby, Stills & Nash, they found no need to explain or justify its inclusion...and they were absolutely right.

Seriously.

But just for fun, I did a little research at songfacts.com and have concluded that though the tune and the harmonies are overwhelmingly beautiful, the words spell out a sad, sad tale.

Stephen Stills wrote the song as he was trying to avoid an impending breakup between Judy Collins and himself. When the song was done, he bought some flowers and went to Collins' house to sing it to her.

Imagine how desperate he must have sounded when he sang words like "It's getting to the point where I am no fun anymore. I am sorry. Sometimes it hurts so badly I must cry out loud, 'I am lonely',"  and "Remember what we've said and done and felt about each other. Oh babe, have mercy," and the perfectly pathetic, "Will you come see me Thursdays and Saturdays? What have you got to lose?"

It makes what Judy Collins said absolutely understandable: "It's gorgeous, but it's not going to get me back."

If this were the Truth Is... blog, this story would be followed up with these wise words: Whiners aren't winners.

Sipping from the Stream of Consciousness

 

So I'm sitting here trying to think of some content to create in order to get a few weeks ahead in terms of posting in this space.

Had to back up and edit that sentence because I originally typed "So I'm sitting her trying to think..."

And I edited THAT sentence to add the bold italic formatting for the word "her".

Still don't know if that last period there should be inside or outside the closing quotation marks.

Had to back up and edit that sentence because I originally typed "don't know if that past period there..."

But I remembered to stop and start the bold italic formatting WHILE I was typing this time.

Cool.

So...what to write...or type...

I wonder what my blood type is. Pretty sure Beloved remembers, though I can't imagine why she does. 

Speaking of Beloved, when I got home from my Saturday morning shift at FastStop last weekend, she had already mowed the front AND back yards.

What a gal!

White Christmas: ♪♫ Mandy! What a gal!  ♪♫

Now THAT'S who should have starred as Barbie, right there!

Stuph That Has No Reason Being in My Head, Vol. III

 

In The Wizard of Oz (1939), when the Tinman is singing "If I Only Had a Heart," there is one line sung by a female: "Wherefore art thou, Romeo?" (Remember?) The actress who sang that line is the same one who voiced Snow White in Disney's Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs (1937).

For a few years in the early 2000s, 7-Up made a beverage called "dnL" that was like the opposite of 7-Up. Instead of being a clear, caffeine-free beverage sold in a green bottle, it was a green, caffeinated beverage sold in a clear bottle. It looked and tasted a lot like Surge. (I miss it.)

Tom Selleck was originally cast as Indiana Jones but couldn't take the part because of his commitment to being Magnum PI.

The word for that icky feeling as if bugs are crawling on you is formication.

Mel Brooks has one line in his movie, Young Frankenstein. The sound of a screaming cat: "Mrow!"

Barry Manilow had a big hit with I Write the Songs. However, he did not write that song.

Painkillers don't work very well on people with red hair.

Freddie Highmore almost didn't get cast in The Good Doctor. The Powers That Be said they were looking for someone around 25. Highmore's truthful reply: "I AM 25!"