Friday, July 14, 2023

Oh the Woes of a Part-Time Worker: The 421st Greatest Song of All Time

 

Billy Joel's "Piano Man" truly is a great song...even though Joel says, "I have no idea why that song became so popular. It's like a karaoke favorite. The melody is not very good and very repetitious, while the lyrics are like limericks. I was shocked and embarrassed when it became a hit."

Poor Billy...dragging himself in shock and embarrassment all the way to the bank.

Makes me wonder how shocked and embarrassed I might become if I recorded a FastStop rewrite...

It's seven a.m. on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man at the coffee bar
Choosing whether to swear or just grin

He says, "Son can you find me the creamers
I'm not really sure where they are
But my woman has said
That without them I'm dead
And she's waiting out there in the car."

Sell us some gas you're the FastStop man
Sell us some gas tonight
It's plain to see we've got places to be
Don't need a receipt, so goodbye

Now John at the counter's a friend of mine
He always does the outside trash
But it's such a joke; he goes out there to smoke
And to pocket folks' leftover cash

He says, "Dewey, I think this is killing me."
(And he doesn't mean his cigarette)
"Each person I meet smells like infected feet
And I'm growing a credit card debt."

Now Paul's a retired machinist
Who always gets diet root beer
And he's making me weary, with his conspiracy theory
And telling me what I should fear

And gas pump 13 isn't working
According to mad Mr. Deed
"Yes they're turned on, but you're doing it wrong
How can you drive but not read?"

Sell us some gas you're the FastStop man
Sell us some gas tonight
It's plain to see we've got places to be
Don't need a receipt, so goodbye

There's always a crowd on a Saturday
And we're always a co-worker short
The truck's comin' in, we're as busy as sin
And our manager's held up in court

And the register sounds like a carnival
And the freezer smells like it's broke down
And the people all day using hundreds to pay
For a two-fifty bill make me frown

Sell us some gas you're the FastStop man
Sell us some gas tonight
It's plain to see we've got places to be
Don't need a receipt, so goodbye



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