J.R.R. Zeppelin?

 

A lot of people make a lot of noise about how the 433rd greatest song of all time, "Ramble On" by Led Zeppelin, is heavily influenced by the writings of J.R.R. Tolkein, specifically, The Lord of the Rings.

I beg to differ.

Did I say "beg"?

I did?

Well, negate that and replace that weasel word with something much stronger, like "rush" or "demand" or "the smell of week-old gym socks in the bottom of a duffel."

The source of my eagerness to rebel against the sweeping tide of critical opinion is the fact that only two lines in the song contain any specific Tolkein references:

'Twas in the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair

But Gollum and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her

Firstly, the storyline created while using the Tolkien terms "Mordor" and "Gollum" is utterly foreign to The Lord of the Rings. So much so, lyricist Robert Plant later admitted to being embarrassed by the lines.

Secondly, the oft-repeated words of the chorus, "Ramble on," can easily be misheard as "Babylon" (a Biblical reference instead of a Tolkien one) or "Revlon" (an example of inappropriate product placement).

But mostly, I'm raising this stink because the song, "Ramblin' Man," by the Allman Brothers Band, doesn't show up anywhere on Rolling Stone's "500 Greatest Songs..." list and it just hurts my feelings that THIS song represents the verb "ramble" instead.