Real headlines. Almosted stories.
City Appoints First Woman as Mayor
In the first political use of time travel, the city council in Eden, North Carolina has replaced the late Mayor Bubba Rotunda with Eve.
Police Chief to Retire
In a show of solidarity with the city's grease monkeys, police chief Hiredtu Katchem changed the tires on all the squad cars.
MPD Training Video Under Fire
In this breaking news, a VHS tape used to train Minneapolis police officers is currently trapped in an alley while being shot at.
6 Charged in Organized Mass Thefts on Black Friday
In a special Black Friday session, the 6 thieves who stole several well-planned masses were electrocuted.
Shooting Survivors Expand Suit Against School
In a dizzying display of quantum physics, a matching set of pants and jacket that is leaning on Oxford High School is growing larger every time an episode of the television series Survivor is shot.
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