From The Almost the Truth Dictionary of What Words Ought to Actually Mean:
Abandoned (v) - Allowed a formerly forbidden activity
Abominable (n) - An explosive device that can't explode
Adapts (n) - Smartphone software that creates merchandising messages
Baccalaureate (n) - A sack of leftovers from Laurie's meal
Balladeer (v) - Form a sphere with a buck or doe
Cablevision (n) - Electronically-charged particle in a taxi driver's blue jeans
Dangly (adv) - In a not-quite-damning manner
Declassifiable (clause) - A possible answer when asking a student with a sprained ankle where they are going
Earthly (v) - Lithening to thomething thecretly
Eavesdropped (clause) - What happened when the edge of the roof collapsed
Eclipse (v) - What a male barber does when a customer sits in is chair.
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