Friday, July 14, 2017

Dorothyize the Movies

You know how if you repeat a word often enough, it seems to lose its meaning and start sounding like just nonsense syllables?

Yeah, well, that happened to me when I was experiencing the alphabetized version of The Wizard of Oz that I told you about in last week's post. Dorothy's name became, in my ears, a laughable, nonsensical blurting of consonants and vowels.

So...consider what follows as my mind's twisted attempt to restore meaning to Dorothy's name by inserting it into popular movie titles and imagining what the plot would be.

  • Dorothy Gale and the Sorcerer's Stone  -  A Kansas farm girl finds out she wasn't being truthful when she said, "I'm not a witch at all."
  • Cool Hand Dorothy  -  In prison for killing two green-skinned sisters, Dorothy learns that "what he have here is...failure to properly douse a fire."
  • Indiana Dorothy and the Last Crusade  -  While searching for a way back to Kansas, Doctor Gale has to decide whether she truly believes there's no place like home.
  • The Dorothy Redemption  -  Our favorite heroine escapes the Wicked Witch of the West's castle by digging a tunnel and hiding it behind a poster of Clark Gable.

  • Dorothy Club  -  "The first rule of Dorothy Club is..."
  • It's a Wonderful Dorothy  -  A flying monkey shows Dorothy what Oz would be like if she had never dropped a house on the Wicked Witch of the East.
  • The Lion Dorothy  -  Uncle Henry kills Dorothy's father so he can take over the farm. Thinking she's guilty, Dorothy flees to Oz and dyes her eyes to match her gown. Hakuna Munchtata!
  • Star Wars: A New Dorothy  -  Miss Gale is swept into a galaxy-sized conflict between the technologically-superior Winkies and a rag-tag group of Munchkins.
  • Star Wars: The Farmer Strikes Back  -  Uncle Henry cuts off Dorothy's hand.
  • Star Wars: The Return of the Dorothy  -  Dorothy cuts off Uncle Henry's hand.
  • Dorothy Gump  -  Running and ping pong and AIDS, oh my!

1 comment:

Kevin Williams said...

Dorothy of Arabia: Dorothy leads the Munkins in a war of liberation only to see it collapse through internal feuds.She returns to Kansas to die in a motorcycle accident.