Friday, October 7, 2016

Almost Movie Recaps


For a few years now, I've been writing mini reports on the books I read throughout the year and publishing them on my personal FaceBook page; three volumes a year. The thought recently struck me (ouch!) that it might be interesting to do that for the movies I watch, too. But holy farnsworth! What with streaming Netflix and my insatiable hunger for popcorn, that would be a LOT of movies. I'd have to publish way more often and write recaps that are way shorter...



The Count of Monte Cristo  -  Unjustly-jailed sailor pretends to be dead to get out of prison, and pretends to be nobility to get revenge.

The Wizard of Oz  -  Illegal immigrant kills one sister, then joins with three strangers to kill the other.

No Country For Old Men  -  Psycho guy in need of a new hairstyle kills people while on trail of a ton of cash. Totally ineffective Sheriff Tommy Lee Jones retires.

Zootopia  -  Snarky cartoon animals run around and do stuff. Only memorable scene was the sloths in the DMV, which was in the film's trailer, so why did I bother to watch this?

Finding Nemo  -  Neurotic cartoon fish finds Nemo.

Finding Dory  -  Neurotic cartoon fish finds Dory. Dory finds her parents. Pixar finds a cash cow.

Bourne Identity  -  Amnesiac wreaks havoc. Some spy-types have hissy-fits.

Avatar  -  Dances With Wolves meets Ferngully.

Titanic  -  Frustrated wife gets naked for sketch artist. Also, a boat sinks.

Million Dollar Baby  -  Female Rocky, with Clint Eastwood as Burgess Meredith.

Rocky  -  Male Million Dollar Baby with...yeah, you get it.

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