Friday, August 26, 2016

Purple Passion

When a restless group of students plead with you to tell them a particular story over and over again, you begin to think that:
          1. It's a pretty good story.
          2. You're a pretty good storyteller.
          3. These kids really need to get a life.

In order for you to be able to decide  for yourself the validity of any of those statements, I offer you the favorite Stupid Story™ of most cast members from the last 16 years of Giant Step Theatre...Purple Passion.

Friday, August 19, 2016

Dakota Chautauqua Bloopers

Last week was the 12th time I'd spent a week in Farmington, Minnesota, performing scenes and songs written by Pete Martin and Eric Peltoniemi (and even a few by me!) in a little production called Dakota Chautauqua. It began as a way to commemorate the sesquicentennial (150th anniversary) of the founding of Dakota County, Minnesota. It has continued as a way to promote Dakota City Heritage Village and the Dewey Roth Sweat-Your-Way-To-Your-Perfect-Weigh weight loss plan.

Of course the hitch to the whole weight loss thing is all the fair food I ate throughout the week (which ends up sounding like the 12 days of Christmas): 32 ounces of fresh cut fries, 1/3 pound Angus burger, one-and-a-half servings of deep-fried cheese curds, two waffle cones, two roasted potatoes (with bacon and cheese), one Pronto Brat, a root beer float, and a New Zealand Breakfast Meat Pie.

The show itself was stuffed full of the weird and goofy things that make Minnesota and its overwhelmingly Scandihoovian shall we say it...unique.

For example:

  • Norway vs. Sweden: The Lutefisk Controversy (white sauce or butter?)
  • Spam
  • "Doncha know"
  • Moonshine-makin' mamas

  • An obsession with Paul Bunyan
  • Arsonist, thief, and murderer: Marjorie Congdon Leroy Caldwell Hagen
  • The total fabrication of St. Urho (Giving Finns a reason to drink the bars dry the day before St. Patrick's Day)

As for the bloopers mentioned in this post's title?

You should have been there for the opening night performance when the whole cast totally blew the words of the closing song, which  -  appropriately enough  -  was titled "Uffda!" We just stood there shaking our heads at one another and repeating the word "uffda", but with none of the other lyrics intact.

Not to mention my mini panic attack every performance because I could never guarantee whether I would say the scripted "We keep the chicken-heads out of Wisconsin and they keep the margarine out of Minnesota" or if "marmalade" would inexplicably spring from my lips instead. 

Oh wait...I guess I DID mention it.

Gotta love live theater.

Friday, August 12, 2016

Observed Absurdities™ 24 - Say What?

I really have no words for this.

Too bad the guy pictured here couldn't say the same.

If anyone should be feeling shame, it's not the people trying to read this add.

Friday, August 5, 2016

...You Just May Have A Problem

Time to self-evaluate:

If you refuse to go through a four-way stop when there are any other cars just may have a problem.

If you think it's important to decide whether you want ketchup or just may have a problem.

If you can remember the words to the SuperChicken theme song, but not where you put your glasses...

If it takes you longer to pee than to sing the national anthem...

If you order an Angus Three-Cheese & Bacon sandwich and large Curly Fries at Arby's, and consider NOT getting a cherry turnover with it a weight-loss just may have a  problem.