Friday, December 18, 2015

Almost the Truthlets the Tenth

And now ladies and gents, without further ado, a recap of stati (isn't that the plural of status?) from the Almost the Truth (TM) Publishing FaceBook page. No need to save your applause until the end.

  • Her butt is so big, it has its own backmosphere.
  • Biscuits and gravy are a sure sign that God wants us to be happy…and unable to run away from Him, apparently.
  • Eat your vegetables. Do unto others before they do unto you, you know?
  • Blessed are the geeks for they shall save the hard drives of the earth.
  • I love you forever...I like you for always...I'm a creepy stalker who won't leave you alone.

  • Shirley Temple and Lucy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the past forever.
  • If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you once! #Truth
  • When the going gets tough, consider adding more fiber to your diet.
  • When a man’s an empty kettle, Tony Stark must be taking a break from superhero-ing.
  • Previously on Big Bang Theory, the smartest person in the room pouted like a baby while the beautiful neighbor showed far too much cleavage and wondered why people never looked her in the eyes.
  • When in doubt, don’t. When in a fight, duck. When in a duck, quack up.
  • On this day in history…no wait…THIS day HAS no history. Today is today and that’s all today is. THIS day is presentry, not history. Now, if you want to talk about this DATE…well…that’s another thing entirely.
  • Almost Thanksgiving: We gather together to put on some poundage.
  • That sound in the distance you hear is the crinkle of my hardening arteries.

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