Friday, April 3, 2015

Amazing Declarations of Truth: #4 Will Rock Your World

Not everyone knows everything...itself a declaration of truth, though not necessarily amazing...but the following bits of True Truth have apparently escaped the notice of almost everyone but me. Consider this list a public service, aimed toward the betterment of mankind in general and the betterment of the life of this man writing these words in particular.

1.  Parking spaces in parking lots are meant for cars, not shopping carts.

2.  Skin-tight leggings are not pants. No sane person wants to see your tush's vaccination scar while you're walking the mall.

3.  Yellow or amber traffic lights do not indicate "Floor it, Wilbur!"

4.  That rectangular thing in your pocket can actually be used as a phone to talk to people without using your typing skills or yelling like a third grader on the playground.

5. Gentlemen...there's a reason why the seat of a toilet in a public rest room is able to be lifted. If you're not going to be sitting on it, it should not be used for target practice...especially when your aim is so very, very poor.

6.  Speaking of public rest rooms...sinks have drains; counter tops do not.

7.  One does not have to wait until one's purchase is rung up to begin to fish in one's handbag for what one believes to be a coupon or competitor's ad...or method of payment.

1 comment:

Mary Barrios said...

Dewey, I love the comment about tights and leggings. I can't believe how many girls (3-14 yrs. old) wear these tight leggings as pants at my school. We don't even teach ballet! I would never let my daughter wear those . Some of the teachers wear them with tops that do not cover their behinds. I hope this fad passes quickly.