Friday, April 17, 2015

Almost the Truthlets, the Eighth

If these snippets of inanity seem slightly familiar, you just may be following the Almost the Truth(TM) Publishing FaceBook page. If they don't, you're probably not, but you should, so they will.

This may just be a rumor, but we heard that the world came to an end 14 years ago...the present is all a dream that Stephen King had in 1997.

When the laxative kicks in, the tough get going.

Well, drop me from a tree and call me a nut!

And the Emmy goes to...the Enny...which leads inevitably to the Ohhy...

All have grinned and called sport the story that's odd.

With apologies, I admit that when someone says Wednesday is "Hump Day," my first thought has nothing to do with camels.

An apple a day keeps the doctor interested in investing in orchards.

Dear Sherlock,
If the game's a foot, then what is my hand?
Thank you.

All hood's rings must come from a hand.

If you can't stand the heat, move to Minnesota.

I now own won one.

Question everything! Except this instruction...THAT you have to adhere to unswervingly. (Hmmm...)

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named Jed, with ears so huge they were named Ned and Fred.

Why does Superman wear his underpants on the outside of his tights?

"Certainly, you can't be serious."
"I AM serious, and don't call me Certainly."

We gather together to stuff all our faces
For turkey and taters we gladly give thanks
We lay down right after, piled high to the rafters
And promise to diet, or buy bigger Spanks.

I am just a poor boy, though my story' wait...that's about it.

Said the Benihana chef to the Texas griller, "Do you sear what I sear?"

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, slicked with a win-ter-y mix; as the lawyers rush out with liability suits

It ain't what it ain't.

You must remember this, a kiss is...uhhh...errr...wait a minute, I knew it just a second ago...

A recent study shows that I don't eat nearly as many CornNuts as I'd like.

I have a hard time not snickering whenever the gas station convenience-store clerk asks, "Did you have gas?"

I'm not a smart man, but I know what Dr. Pepper is. I could make a good float, Jennay.

E = em seen on its side

Weather tonight...dark. Continued dark throughout the evening with widely scattered light in the morning. -George Carlin

No one cares what your lunch looks like. ‪#‎TrueTruth

Fantastic - (noun) Brand name for an electric air-moving device that can be stretched into limitless shapes.

When given the choice between good or best, always go for AND instead of OR.

There's a bright, golden haze on the meadow...somebody should call the fire department.

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