Friday, April 25, 2014

Almost the Truthlets, the Fifth

Have you gone to the Almost the Truth Publishing FaceBook page and clicked "Like" yet? If so, you may have already seen these Wednesday morning status updates. If not...upon what art thou waiting, yon scallywag?

  • Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings...with extra sauce and a side order of fries.
  • Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor doggie a bone. But Old Father Hubbard had put the bones in the garbage, where they belong.
  • And they all lived happily ever--BWAHAHAHAAAA--sorry, couldn't say it with a straight face.
  • As Saul Pieman once sang, "there must be fifty ways to love your lever."
  • CNN: Cable Neener-Neener
  • To peach his stone.
  • When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me speaking words of wisdom: "You idiot, what were you thinking?!?"
  • For scored and severed ears: oh no...
  • I'll tell you something; I think you'll understand when I say that something: I think this soup is bland ♫♫♪
  • Ohhhhhh...the weather outside is frightful...RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
  • And it's all because your mama don't dance and your daddy don't stop, drop, and roll.
  • Frankly, my dear, I don't give a discount.
  • Hewstun, we half a porbelm.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Observed Absurdities™ 12 - Rest Room Emergency

I can't remember what major metropolitan city I saw this in, but I'm pretty sure I do NOT want to be the person either answering, or feeling the need to place, that EMERGENCY call.

Friday, April 11, 2014

A Day in the Life of a Stripper

Creating personalized comics with the Bitstrips app on FaceBook is not a sickness.

Really, it's not.



Friday, April 4, 2014


Being the cutting edge hipster that I am (#sarcasm), I started a little something on the shared whiteboard at work. I invited my coworkers to "ruin" a movie by adding a word to its title.

Being the boring, non-creative piles of steaming compost that they are (#slightexaggeration), my coworkers ignored the whole thing and left me to come up with these on my own...

  • Gone With the Breaking Wind
  • The Shawshank Coupon Redemption
  • The Dark Chocolate Knight
  • Reality Star Wars
  • It's a Wonderful Still Life
  • Back Fat to the Future
  • Singing in the Acid Rain
  • The Dental Bridge on the River Kwai
  • Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Cracker Barrels
  • No Country Music for Old Men
  • The Gift Return of the Jedi
  • There Will Be Blood Pathogens
  • E.T.: The Extra-Cholesterol Terrestrial
  • The Passion Fruit of the Christ
And with thanks to Queen CanDo (#OneContributingCoworker) I've saved the best for last:

  • Pretty Ugly Woman