Friday, July 26, 2013

Observed Absurdities™ 10 - Do You Have a Storage Trouble?

Queen CanDo has been hard(ly) at work again, and submits the following piece of literary excellence she found when she clicked to the website of a Minnesota garage builder.

Prefab Sheds Minnesota Programs For Sheds – Ahead of I Establish My Drop What Do I Will need to Know? Do you have a storage trouble, is your garage comprehensive of items that cease you parking the car in it? Do you want someplace else to retailer your garden mower, backyard resources, firewood and all method of other objects? Prefab Sheds Minnesota. Build an Outdoor Theatre Applying a Prefab Garage Package This is a story of good previous Yankee Ingenuity that happened throughout a football activity with a couple of buddies very last slide. We have been all grumbling about remaining trapped inside the living area watching the match on a Significant Def large screen Tv when what we definitely preferred was to be out in the factors with our crew. What You Require To Know About Sheds Typically, sheds are simply just designed structures with a single story and are applied in gardens, back yards, or workshops for the reason of storing items similar to outdoor get the job done. They can fluctuate by dimensions and the kinds of products employed to establish it. There are some that are comparatively modest and have a roof designed of tin, and many others that arrive in greater sizes and have wood frames, stylish windows, entry to ability stores, shingle on the roof, the total is effective… Prefab Sheds Minnesota.

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Upon close investigation, it appears this was written in a language other than English and mechanically translated, but it doesn't really deserve close investigation, so get out there in the factors with your crew, fluctuate by dimensions, and use your good previous Yankee Ingenuity to make the total effective!

Friday, July 19, 2013

Dead Men DO Tell Tales

I stumbled across a book at the library the other day.

No...seriously...I was walking along looking at the shelves, and someone had left this book on the floor, and I tripped over it.

As I was picking myself up off the floor, I also picked up the offending tome, and took a look at what had so brazenly broken my browsing concentration. 'Twas a book by Robert J. Randisi, Hey There (You with the Gun in Your Hand). The cover looked like something slightly trashy from the late Fifties/early Sixties and noted that the book was "A Rat Pack Mystery", which explained why the cover featured a drawing of Joey Bishop, Frank Sinatra, and Dean Martin playing poker...with Sammy Davis, Jr. holding a gun and looking all dangerous and sly.

The thing is, when I opened the book, I found that it was published in 2008 and was, in factual fact, the third book in The Rat Pack Mystery Series. The first two books are Luck Be a Lady, Don't Die and Everybody Kills Somebody Sometime. It was then I saw this disclaimer: "This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously."

It's the phrase used fictitiously that lets Mr. Randisi get away with having Sammy Davis, Jr. trying to pay off blackmailers and owning the gun that kills a couple goons, along with involving the family of JFK in similar seedy situations.

That phrase also prodded me to wondering what kind of book series could I create using a group of entertainers I'm a bit more familiar with...say...The Beatles?

  • I Wanna Scald Your Hand
  • She Kills You (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)
  • Eight Murders a Week
  • She's Got a Hearse to Ride
  • Revolver
  • Baby, Don't You Steal My Car
  • You Are the Eggman, I Am the Hitman
  • Arsenic Fields Forever
  • While My Guitar Grimly Reaps

Friday, July 12, 2013

...And Now You Know

Thanks to the factoid gurus at Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, we all can go to bed tonight a little older and least a little more informed.

  • About 47 percent of New York City residents older than age five speak a language other than English at home.
  • Giant Asian Squirrels are three feet long and can leap up to 20 feet.

  • Not every Pez flavor has been successful. A couple failures: eucalyptus and chlorophyll. [Hmmm...go figger.]
  • Mosquitoes are twice as attracted to pregnant women. [Apparently, pregnant men are safe.]
  • In the U.S. alone, McDonald's sells about 17 Big Macs every second.
  • The average American adult receives eight cards and four gifts on his or her birthday. [I already knew I was below average, but this is just rubbing salt in the wound.]
  • 65% of test subjects had the urge to yawn after reading the word "yawn". [ are YOU doing right now?]
  • Some scenes in Disney's Bambi (1942) are unused footage from Pinocchio (1940). [So THAT explains why Thumper has donkey ears and Flower's tail is held up by a string.]
  • The odds are 1 in 100,000 that you will get stuck on your next elevator ride. [TRY not to think about that the next time you step into an elevator.]
  • How to tell whether you have a cold or the flu: Colds make you sneeze; flus don't.
  • There are 200,000 more people on Earth today than there were yesterday [But only a couple of them need to worry about getting stuck on an elevator.]
  • In 2008, psychologists introduced a new diagnosis: Facebook Addiction Disorder. [Is it just a coincidence that spells "FAD"?] 

Friday, July 5, 2013

A Spoiled Wedding

And you thought YOUR mother-in-law was a wedding wet blanket.

For the actual/factual story behind this picture, click here.