Friday, March 14, 2008

50 Ways II

I'm belatedly working through the U. S. News & World Report January 7 feature, "50 Ways to Improve Your Life in 2008."

2. Cut back on corn.
Well that's just great. I guess I need to stop adding to this blog. Once again, something that will most probably improve some people's lives, but not necessarily mine.

3. Don't be afraid to get dirty.
According to experts (X being the algebraic symbol for the unknown, and spurt being a drip of water under pressure, an expert is just an unknown drip under pressure.), "bacteria that routinely inhabit our bodies actually produce vitamins and proteins we need and help make our immune and gastrointestinal systems work. Being excessively intolerant of bacteria can harm you."

I've already begun to put this suggestion to work. You know that "three second rule," where if you drop something it's still safe to eat if you pick it up within three seconds? I've changed that to the five minute rule.

In fact, I purposely drop my lunch on the floor, sneeze into my hands, and refuse to wash after going to the rest room. A feller's got to get his vitamins somehow.

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