Friday, May 16, 2025

The Unconsummated Marriage: The 391st Greatest Song

 

In its day, "Band of Gold," by Freda Payne, sparked a bit of controversy: Was it about an impotent man or a frigid woman? Here are the lyrics that had tongues wagging...

We kissed after taking vows
But that night on our honeymoon
We stayed in separate rooms


I understand how a person could think that situation was the result of a romantic mishap, but I don't think that interpretation is required. I mean, maybe their hotel reservation got messed up or something!


How many fingers does one person NEED??!?

Okay, I admit the next verse leans a little more toward the sexual dysfunction theory:

I wait in the darkness of my lonely room
Filled with sadness, filled with gloom
Hoping soon
That you'll walk back through that door
And love me like you tried before


But what people forget is that the whole relationship apparently started with a violent abduction:

You took me from the shelter of my mother

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Then again, maybe the groom just got freaked out by the seven fingers on his bride's right hand.


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