My current employment situation allows me the wonderful opportunity to work from home almost completely. The only time we have to come into the office is when someone higher on the food chain is visiting from England...the land wherein resides the company that bought our company.
On those few occasions when we are enjoying each other's company on company premises, we often have lunch together as a team at a local eatery.
At a recent lunch gathering, the restaurant of choice featured Thai food and a snooty wine list.
It was the wine list that hit me squarely on the funny bone...to the point that I could barely control myself to be able to order.
This is an actual picture of the actual wine menu:
- "Flavors of ripe cherry smoked meats" - A meat-flavored drink? Ewww.
- "With a velvety finish" - (Velvet: a fabric of silk, nylon, acetate, rayon, etc., with a thick, soft pile formed of loops of the warp thread.) So you're telling me that drinking the Guenoc Pinot Noir will coat my tongue?
- "With a juicy mouthfeel" - Forget about completely making up the word mouthfeel, is there any way for a drink to not feel juicy?
- "Soft and round" - Most liquids are soft, I get that, but round? Round??!?
- "Full of chewy tannins" - (Tannin: any of a group of astringent vegetable principles or compounds.) Can't say I'm looking forward to chewing my beverage, but at least now I understand why they had to call out the juicy mouthfeel.
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