#PutAnAnimalInAnEightiesSongTitle

 

Ah, the 1980s...slap bracelets, Reading Rainbow, video rentals, and singing about the animal kingdom.

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Another Elephant Bites the Dust  -  Freddie Mercury at his PETA best

Manatee in the Mirror  -  ♫♪ "I'm starting with the manatee in the mirror. I'm asking it to swim this way." ♪♫

The Tiger Is High  -  Blondie sings about a big cat violating the controlled substance act

Mickey Mouse  -  ♫♪ " Hey, Mickey, you're so fun. Steamboat Willie's number one!" ♪♫

I Can't Go for Bat (No Can D0)  -  Hall & Oates refuse to make a trip to the exotic pet store

Jackrabbit and Diane  -  ♫♪ "Here's a little ditty about a bunny and a girl..." ♪♫

We Are the Squirrel  -  An all-star choir sing their support of rats with bushy tails

That's What Frogs Are For  -  ♫♪ "Keep hopping. Keep croaking. Knowing you can always count on me..." ♪♫

Snake On Me  -  A-ha's big hit that was used for the end title sequence of the 2006 horror film, Snakes on a Plane

Every Bear You Take  -  ♫♪ "Every bear you take, every fish you fake, every duck you drake, every cow you steak, I'll be watching you." ♪♫

#PutAnAnimalInASeventiesSongTitle Two

 

Another batch of animal-centric hits from the 70s...because those years had the best songs...ever. (#OkayBoomer)

Gypsies, Chimps, and Thieves  -  ♫♪ "...You meet 'em in the jungles of Eastern Europe." ♪♫

We're an American Banded Gecko  -  When Grand Funk Railroad helps you party it down, you may need an insurance quote.

Flea and Mrs. Jones  -  ♫♪ "...They got an itch goin' on...scratch till it's gone..." ♪♫

Killing Me Softly With His Swan  -  Roberta Flack took this true crime tune to the top of the charts for five weeks.

You Are the Sunshine of My Giraffe  -  A song of thanks from Stevie Wonder to the keeper of his personal menagerie.

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown Trout  -  ♫♪ "Well the south side of the spillway never brought nobody joy, and if you go down there you better just beware of a brown trout named Leroy." ♪♫

A Pelican Pie  -  Ode to an unusual dessert by Don McLean

Lizard in the Rain  -  ♫♪ "Oooooh, there's a lizard in the rain, just making muddy prints on the sidewalk there." ♪♫

Rhinestone Cow  -  Glen Campbell's hit about a showbiz bovine

That's the Ray (I Like It)  -  ♫♪ "When we're swimming off the coast, and I see a big dark thing, and you ask me what it is, then I feel that pleasure sting. Ohhhhhh that's the ray (uh-huh, uh-huh) I like it (uh-huh, uh-huh)..." ♪♫

Blooming Idiots: The 407th Greatest Song of All Time

 

Writing these pieces on the songs that Rolling Stone called "The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time" has been very educational.

Take today's topic, for instance, the 1991 song, "In Bloom," which repeats the words:

He's the one who likes all our pretty songs

And he likes to sing along and he likes to shoot his gun

But he don't know what it means

Don't know what it means, and I say, "Yeah"

I know, I know...some of you are asking, "What's so all-fire educational about THAT?!!?"

Well...

By watching the music video for this song and reading the rest of the lyrics, I learned something very important and encouraging:

Absenting myself from the popular music of the 1990s was one of the wisest moves I've ever made.

#PutAnAnimalInASeventiesSongTitle

 

The 1970s: When we all wanted to be hippies and sing about Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.

Without Gnu  -  Harry Nilsson sings that he will die without the presence of a large, dark African antelope.

Let It Bee  -  ♫♪ "When I find myself in need of honey..." ♪♫

Sheena Is a Skunk Rocker  -  This Ramones song really stinks.

Hart of Glass  -  ♫♪ "Collecting knick-knacks, and it was a gas. Soon turned out I had a hart of glass." ♪♫

Bridge Over Troubled Water Moccasins  -  ♫♪ "When there's snakes...in the river below...when they're upset...and mean...I'm where you should go--oh..." ♪♫

Make It With Ewe  -  David Gates and Bread were just out of line and inappropriate with this one.

The Long and Winding Toad  -  ♫♪ "The long and winding toad that got smeared 'cross the road...will never disappear..." ♪♫

Reindeer Keep Falling on My Head  -  B. J. Thomas' big Christmas hit.

How Can You Mend a Buffalo's Heart  -  ♫♪ "...how can a bison ever win?" ♪♫

You've Got a French Hen  -  James Taylor's big Christmas hit.

Artificial Stupidity Recasting Star Wars

 

Using Bing's "more creative" chat feature to recast Star Wars

May the Fourth be with you.

A Star Wars movie poster using Bugs Bunny, Yosemite Sam, Daffy Duck, and Tweety Bird

A Star Wars movie poster using Foghorn Leghorn, Elmer Fudd, Porky Pig, and Wile E. Coyote

A Star Wars movie poster using characters from Disney's Frozen

Can you make BB-8 look like Olaf?

And oh my...how about making Olaf look like Darth Vader?