(For those who arrived late, this is a reprint from 2009...and 2011.)
Friday, December 25, 2020
Almost the Nativity
Friday, December 18, 2020
Christmas Threats
- You don't EVEN want to know what this candy cane is capable of.
- ♪♫ Jingle bells! Jingle bells! Wrapped around your throat!
- If I don't get some quiet around here, there's going to be more than CHESTNUTS roasting on an open fire!
- I'm going to put you away in a manger.
- Rudolph, if you don't get your nose outta my business, I'm gonna delight you.
Friday, December 11, 2020
If the Eagles Ever Made a Christmas Record...
...it would probably include songs like this:
BAKE IT CHEESY
Well I'm a-runnin' down the road, got a party to go to
Seven cheesecakes in my car
ITCHY WOMAN
Ooh, itchy woman, she's so scratchy everywhere
Ooh, itchy woman, she's got the woolen underwear
LYIN' DOWN
We can't help but be lyin' down
The meal's so big when you come around
PEACEFUL, EASY EGG NOG
And I got some peaceful, easy egg nog
And it feels so good goin' down
HOTEL AT THE NORTH POLE
Welcome to the hotel at the North Pole
Such a snowy place
With a tiny race
Yeah, there's plenty of elves at the hotel at the North Pole
At this time of year
You'll see Santa here
TAKE IT TO THE FAT MAN
You know I've always been a dreamer
(Hopin' for things to own)
And it's so hard to wait
(Can't seem to get a loan)
But the dreams I've seen lately
Need to be mapped out 'cause I'm so tapped out
I guess wishing is my fate
So drive me to the mall now
And put me in line
I'm gonna take it to the fat man one more time