Hallelu-WHAT THE FARNSWORTH?!!?

Leonard Cohen wrote it, Shrek made it popular, and everybody and their cousins' cousins have done their own versions of it.

People tend to sing it like a worship song. I mean..."hallelujah" literally means "praise the lord", right? (Right.) But holy guacamole, have you listened to the words?!!?

I heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
Well, according to Scripture, David played for King Saul to calm him down when he was in a manic phase, but I have a little problem with capitalizing "Lord" when it's not referring to...you know...THE Lord.

But you don't really care for music, do you?
Not sure who the "you" is, but if this statement is true, they probably aren't listening to the song anyway.

It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift, the baffled king composing Hallelujah
Oh, so now David is no longer the shepherd boy soothing Saul, but the singer-songwriter-ruler?

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelu----jah
This is what makes everyone think this is a hymn.

Your faith was strong but you needed proof, you saw her bathing on the roof, her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
So King David was thinking, "I'm pretty sure the neighbor gal is smokin' hot, but I need some confirmation"?

She tied you to a kitchen chair, she broke your throne, she cut your hair, and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Pretty sure we're talking about Samson and Delilah now, though Sam didn't have a throne, and this makes it sound like he kinda enjoyed the bondage thing...should this really be in a "worship" song??? 

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelu----jah
Gee...sure SOUNDS like a hymn.

Maybe I have been here before, I know this room; I have walked this floor, I used to live alone before I knew you
If this IS a song of praise, then "you" would be God and this is an acknowledgement of our fallen state before coming to Him. Maybe Cohen is finally getting on track.

I've seen your flag on the marble arch, love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
For God so loved the world that He left us cold and unable to praise Him properly. Wait...that doesn't sound quite right.

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelu----jah
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get on with the next verse already.

There was a time you let me know what's real and going on below, but now you never show it to me, do you?
Remember when I moved in you; the holy dove was moving too, and every breath we drew was Hallelujah
To explain this verse in non-poetic terms would move this blog into the "adult" category. Not gonna do it. (And can you imagine your church's choir singing this?)

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelu----jah
I can no longer take this seriously.

Maybe there's a God above
Maybe?

and all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
There goes the whole "turn the other cheek" thing.

And it's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light, it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Way to end on a positive note, there, Leonard! Praise the Lord!

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