"Yeah, we're pretty sure and confident," says police spokesperson, Reggie Dundant, "that waterfall will never flow or splash ever again or in the future. That actor-theater guy killled it to death."
Couple Accused of Collecting $500 Ransom for Neighbor's Dog
In his statement to the press, the accused 19-year-old man declared, "What's the big deal? The dog couldn't collect the money himself. We were doing it a favor!"
As 3 Cars Collide, 1 Hits House; 5 Are Injured
Scientists are still trying to determine how five cars could get injured when only three collided.
Credit Card Borrowing Drops
Said the Visa to the MasterCard, "Could I use your Ricola? My throat's really sore."
Pedestrian Hit By School Bus In Fair Condition
According to the school district's transportation manager, Emma Walker, the bus "has a little rust in the wheel wells and burns up oil a bit, but other than that, it's in decent shape."
Insurer Apologizes to Deputy Over Dog
It was a nice gesture for the insurance company to treat the deputy to a meal while the adjuster offered a formal apology, but the menu choice was highly questionable.
Five Buggy Riders Hurt in Semi Hit-and-Run
Barron County Sheriff Chris Fitzgerald reported it was really more of a tag-and-trot than an actual hit-and-run.
Should You Friend Your Boss on Facebook?
Uh...no. (File under "Stupidest Questions On Earth")
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