Friday, January 27, 2017

Change a Word; Ruin a TV Series

These are ALMOST television classics...

  • Game of Tomes  -  An epic tale of deceit, murder, and mayhem, while one family after another fights for the keys to the local library
  • Bar Trek  -  Their mission, to boldly go where no one has been drunk before
  • Fiends  -  A group of people who are really mean to each other drink a lot of coffee
  • Steinfelt  -  A stand-up comedian in New York City chooses the wrong material from which to fashion a mug for his beer
  • M*E*S*H  -  The merry mix-ups that occur in a stockings factory
  • The Pig Bang Theory  -  Supplying weapons to swine is never a good idea

  • Steers  -  There's a ranch a-way out west where everybody knows your name
  • Handy Griffith  -  Southern sheriff gets arrested on molestation charges
  • Saturday Afternoon Live  -  Live feeds from across America of people mowing their lawns, shopping, and taking naps.
  • 44 Minutes  -  All that's left of an hour after the commercials
  • dirtysomething  -  Drama about baby boomers working in a laundry
  • Buffy the Spider Slayer  - Teen queen exterminator
  • Stall in the Family  -  A rest room attendant wishes his meathead son-in-law would take over the family business

Friday, January 13, 2017

Just Wondering

While working on last week's homonym-laden list of New Year's resolutions, I started getting curious about several things:

  • Is the son of a tailor called an alter boy?
  • If you eat minnows, will you get baited breath?
  • When you get evicted from a concert, should you say "I'm with the banned"?
  • If you kidnap a girl and her boyfriend, is that called tying things up with a beau?

  • How long does a mane need to be in order to make a donkey braid?
  • If a baseball batter became a baker, would he make bunt cake?
  • In a vegetable rock band, would a beet be the drummer?
  • If I needed to sleep on a train, would you be willing to give berth?
  • Is a tornado's favorite color blew?
  • How many rent-payers standing along the edge of our country would it take to make a boarder border?
  • If someone prays to Jesus while trying to get water out of a boat, is that a Christian bail?

Friday, January 6, 2017

Resolutions Too Live Buy

This year, I solemnly resolve to:

  • Take purposeful steps to lower my wait
  • Bless my guitar-playing lumberjack friends with a random ax of kindness
  • Cache more cash
  • Avoid ail
  • Enjoy more fresh heir
  • Ade thirsty people

  • Joyfully sing allowed
  • Be a better bettor
  • Increase the size of my salads by a mega-bite
  • Be less bored of directors
  • Add more items to my collection of pleasing cents
  • Take a chance at righting some chants
  • Spend more time being awed by things that are odd