Friday, September 2, 2016

A Grumpy Old Man Makes a Grocery Run - No Wait - Walk

Before you get all distracted by wondering who the grumpy old man in this tale is, let me just lay it on the table for's me.

Earlier this week, on my way to work, I made what I was planning to be a quick stop in the big box food retailer's establishment near my home. I just wanted to run in and pick up a couple things to include with my packed lunch.

But my expectation of a fast trip in and out was quickly dashed against the rocks of reality.

On my way to Aisle 7, I was stopped dead in my tracks by the sight of an unexpected M & M's Halloween display.

Did I mention this was earlier this in the 31st of August?

I had to pull out my phone to check the date and make sure I wasn't two months late to work.

A less-startling diversion was this t-shirt. I am especially fond of Chewbacca's designation.

Having chosen my items, I hurried to the checkout lanes where a man was leisurely scanning his items in the single self-service lane (as in Only One Out Of The Four Available) and a fine, upstanding woman-of-a-certain-age was just sliding into the single cashier-operated lane (as in Only One Out Of The Twelve Available).

"No worries," thought I, "I'll just stand here between the two and go to the first one available."

I should have pulled up a chair.

The cashier made quick work of sliding the woman's few items over the scanner and announcing the total, but the shopper then emptied her sizable purse onto the conveyor belt in search of her pocketbook.

I glanced at the self-service guy and wondered why he kept making trips from his scanning station to the little wastebasket at the supervisor's kiosk...which had no supervisor supervising at it.

The woman found her pocketbook and started counting out her cash.

The self-service guy unwrapped a package of tortillas and made a chicken-bacon-ranch wrap to sustain himself on his multiple treks back and forth to the wastebasket.

The woman determined she didn't have enough cash and emptied her pocketbook onto the conveyor belt in search of her debit card.

The self-service guy called someone to ask his or her opinion on the brand of mustard he was about to run over the scanner.

The woman realized she forgot something on her shopping list and scurried off in the direction of the gluten-free section.

The self-service guy kept yelling "What?!?" into his phone.

One of the two items I had picked up passed its expiration date.

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Good thing I recently got a smart phone...I'm posting this while I'm still waiting.

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