Just in case you haven't been dialed in to the Twitter wonderosity known as @deweyroth, allow me to repeat some tweets you could have seen live and in person HAD you been...
“UberFacts: Australia moves toward Asia 3 inches per year.” How long has this been going on? Because it hasn't run into Asia yet, right?
Martin Van Halen #AlmostThePrez
Richard M. Nikon #AlmostThePrez
#NewsFlash: Nobody cares what you had for dinner. #TrueTruth
Needless wordage. #NormalTweet
I probably ate at least a dozen Oreos in the employee breakroom last night. #GodIsGood
“ChruchSecretary: Pie & Lattes > Pilates” #Truth
Just watched #BlackHawkDown and am disappointed it wasn't about a depressed bird.
“UberFacts: The first recipient of a silicone breast implant was a dog.” until she got the implant...then...va-va-va-voom!
“UberFacts: In Finland, when someone earns their Ph.D., they are given a top hat and a sword.” That tears it! I'm moving!
“UberFacts: Every second, you make 500 new skin cells.” No wonder #I'mExhausted
“UberFacts: Women are more likely to duck into the men’s room than vice versa.” Because you CAN'T men into the duck room. #Duh
“UberFacts: You are more likely to be killed by your sofa than by a terrorist attack.” I've never trusted my sofa. Now I know why.
“Factsionary: There are 14 billion insects for every human on Earth.” Anybody can have mine, I don't want them.
Blathering in the #digital world
Just swam in a hotel pool in Jaynesville WI. Now showering off the #cheese residue.
“Factsionary: Archeologists have found pots of honey thousands of years old in Ancient Egyptian tombs that are still edible.” #ediblepots
“UberFacts: A feral pig in Australia stole 18 beers from a campsite, got drunk, and then tried to fight a cow.” O the evils of Drink