Friday, October 31, 2014

Hollow Wienie Whiny


All Saints Eve has never been my favorite holiday, and for several reasons:

1)  I was raised so very non-Catholic, non-High Church, non-ritual/creed/early-centuries-traditional that All Saints Day was a total non-entity...not even on the radar. So why should its Eve be of any importance?

2)  During my years in The Youth Ministry Daze, when I was earning grocery money by enhancing the spiritual upbringing of the next generation, I campaigned against the heathen, satanic, druid-inspired origins of many of the aspects of the modern celebration of Halloween...so it would have been hypocritical to send my offspring out in ghost-deceiving disguises, threatening to wreak havoc upon our neighbors if they weren't paid off with Milk Duds and Tootsie-Roll Pops.

[Of course, since that time, I've come to see the attitude of Halloween being a gateway drug to satanism and the occult as a twisted variant on "Keep Christ in Christmas."...and just as effective in terms of popular culture and advertising dollars.]

3)  Truth be told...the biggest reason I've tended to avoid the celebration of Halloween is because it scares me spitless. Skeletons, spider webs, dripping blood, eerie music, things that go bump in the night...you name it, I'm pretty much afraid of it. Haunted houses give me hives. Carnival dark rides have been endured with my eyes closed and ears plugged. Even Snow White's Scary Adventure at Disney World was too creepy for my liking. (Of course, It's a Small World fits that description, too.)


As you might deduce then, October is not my favorite month for movies. I purposely avoid all forms of "entertainment" that include the undead, serial killers, exorcists, and/or Kristen Stewart. Some people thrive on zombies, arterial splatter, pea-soup vomit, and meaningless staring, but I prefer my good times with more smiles than sneers.

So, while some are enjoying themselves with viewings of Nightmare on Pine Tar Road and The Screaming Skull, I'll be making popcorn balls (sans razor blades) and watching The Passion of the Christ.

Wait...what?   

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