Friday, August 15, 2014

Almost the News XXI

Gas Odor Caused School Evacuation
In a related story, school district nutritionist, Betty Fraapp, is planning some significant changes to the lunch menu.

Christie Aide Denies Knowledge of Plot
Republican Gov. Chris Christie's long-time press secretary told state lawmakers he had no idea where the governor planned to be buried.

Attorney of 12-Year-Old Stabbing Suspect Says She's Mentally Ill
She believes, however, that her disorder will not impair her ability to defend the suspect, as it apparently didn't get in the way of her passing the bar exam.

And a big thank you to Readers' Digest for the following actual factual headlines:

When tightrope walkers in Seoul traversed the river Han, the Washington Post wrote: "Skywalkers in Korea Cross Han Solo"

When British politician Michael Foot was put in charge of a nuclear-disarmament committee, the Times wrote: "Foot Heads Arms Body

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